Amac Productions

Whew.

Watching this show every week is like pulling teeth or going to the dentist in general.

Which is why for my own self-care, I avoid everything that isn’t Maya and Carina. So, this is a review of their scenes, not the whole episode.

Alright, well, here we go!

After last week’s episode, I admit, I felt despondent. It felt like it was going to take the rest of the season or something horrible to bring them back together.

I have to say, I didn’t see a poisonous lasagna coming.

Though, it was a welcome surprise.

It was even more welcome to see Carina admit there was significance to the dish. The whole scene was an echo of the past.

Carina barging into the office unexpected on a bad day with lasagna to cheer up Maya. Only to find Maya is in such a rotten mood and she takes it out on Carina. Who tries to walk away only to be stopped and apologized to by Maya.

A scene that not only pushes them past being just a one-night stand to something more, but reveals a new layer of Maya.

She thinks she’s broken.

She doesn’t realize yet just how deep her trauma runs but stopping Carina is the first time she pushes through her need to win or her trauma and tries to pull her closer.

It’s the first time we see her pull a romantic partner closer. The first time we see Carina means something more to her.

With this latest scene, Maya barges in unwelcome at Carina’s work on a bad day and is given the brunt of her anger. She’s not happy to see Maya this time.

Except, this scene is littered with history.

Before there was only one night. A good night. A good time and an attraction.

In this scene, they’re married. They’ve seen the best and the worst. They’ve been through something horrible and while Maya is on the other side right now, Carina isn’t.

Carina’s mad. She feels like a box for Maya to tick off. Something on her clipboard to be completed.

She’s not ready to deal with this. She’s not ready to see Maya in uniform, looking healthy and better with a food that was there during their first fight. The first time Maya pulled her closer.

It was kind of perfect.

So was Bailey.

I don’t watch Grey’s so I’ve only seen what they went through on Station 19 which did show their separation but not reconciliation in season two. Overall, they seem like a fairly stable couple and I loved Bailey trying to help Carina.

She knows how much these two women love each other.

She can see Carina resisting Maya’s charms. The sweet gesture of a heartfelt meal, trying to leave quickly so she doesn’t overstep too much, and being there as much as she can.

Bailey didn’t try to take sides too much. She pushed for Carina to eat the lasagna to feel better about her day. That she was having a terrible day and Maya unknowingly dropped by in the exact right moment to try and make it better. It didn’t mean she forgave everything or had to run home or into her wife’s arms. But she could take the small comfort.

I loved that Carina had a pic of Andrew on her desk. That was so sweet and heartwarming. Although, I’m sure Carina is missing him so much right now.

Side note: Carina’s office is amazing. Why haven’t we seen more than?

Her conversation with Bailey was also revealing.

Carina is very torn.

She can see Maya looks better. But she has no idea if she is better.

Carina can’t see what we do as the audience. She doesn’t know Maya broke down in tears and the only thing she wanted was Carina. She doesn’t know Maya could have returned to work sooner.

She believed her wife.

She believed Maya when she told her they were done. She believed they were over.

She’s sees Maya in her uniform and realizes she got her job back. Things are right in Maya’s world except her wife isn’t home. As far as she knows, she’s fooled everyone into thinking she doesn’t have mental health issues.

Except we know that’s not true.

We saw Maya tell a patient not to pretend. We see she’s learning. We see her working to fix herself. To deal with her mental health instead of ignore it.

But for Carina, she doesn’t know anything.

Until.

Until Maya shows up at the hotel.

Bailey calls her and Maya goes right away. Work, rules, or anything else be damned.

The moment Carina saw a change came after she went quiet.

Before that, she was venting. All the frustrations. She hates being shoved to the side by her wife. She doesn’t like the up and down they’ve been going through. She doesn’t want to be a check on her list.

Things won’t be so easy to fix because Carina is hurt and she finally let Maya know it.

And Maya took it.

She let her wife vent. Say her peace. Listened to her vomit. Then Carina went quiet.

And Maya freaked on the other side of the door, picturing all the things that could have gone wrong.

And for the first time in so long, Carina heard her wife.

The one who held when Andrew died. The one who got her to scream. Who wants to hold a little Carina. The one who refused to leave the hospital when Andrew was in surgery. The one who smiled and said she wanted a baby. The Maya who was so excited about their wedding nothing else mattered.

So she asked for a blanket.

She opened the door. Figuratively.

And Maya brought it. Coming to her side immediately and wrapping it around her. Letting Carina get her first look at Maya up close.

She’s healthy, stable, and worried for her wife. Her eyes are clear and filled with affection again.

She sat at her side. She flirted a bit. She held her. She didn’t push. Maya was everything she needed. Everything Maya promised to be.

For the first time in such a long time, Carina wasn’t treated like a check list.

Maya put her first.

She would make up a reason to be there or get in trouble. She didn’t care about work. Just Carina.

She set up her IV. She kissed her head. She told her how she felt.

And it didn’t fix things.

But it opened the door.

Carina got to see Maya trying. Trying for Carina. Trying to get better. She heard Maya put her first.

Maya didn’t even hesitate. “I’ll stay.” Voice firm and sure.

All Carina has wanted since season five was to feel important to Maya. To be put first.

She finally got to see it.

Maya left her shift twice to be there. She didn’t want to leave. She cared.

She wasn’t there out of some obligation because of a piece of paper. She was there because she loves Carina. Because Carina is important to her.

The rest of the world be damned.

Whew. These scenes gave me hope. Something I needed after last week.

Also, was anyone else wondering how the hell Stephania makes everything look so sexy?!

The yoga to the puking! It’s wild! How does Danielle get anything done with her around?

Just had to put that out there. Thank you.

And Carina, I’m sorry you needed to vomit, but it may have been the best thing for your relationship right now. Oh, and next time Maya, have Carina help you with the lasagna. Yeesh.

Bailey, thank you for bigger the biggest onscreen shipper and giving a voice to the audience!

With all that being said, where does that leave recurring Pam?

Because I do not want her baby for Marina. Thank you very much. I want Carina to have what she wants, and what she wants is to carry. So please and thank you, no.

As for the flirting, I have a hard time thinking that Carina will return anything now.

Before, Carina believed they were over. Separated. She thought Maya meant what she yelled in that hospital bed.

Now, she knows Maya will never stop fighting. And clearly, she still loves her wife. She drew comfort in her presence. In Maya holding her. She promised to reach out later.

Clearly, there will be more contact going forward. Trying to work things out.

And well, sorry Pam, but Carina is ‘so in love with her’ wife. You screwed now. So, please go away.

How is everyone else feeling after this latest episode? Are we feeling hopeful? Excited? Happy? Scared? Tell me!

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