Amac Productions

I’m really not.

I know there are several people out there that are super mad about this episode and those feelings are totally valid.

Personally, I expect nothing from this show. I take the advice of the Roadkill Guys and lower my expectations until I’m never disappointed by this show. It helps.

For those who are mad and wanted better, I appreciate that. I wanted better too. But this show is like one of the cars on Roadkill, ‘It never fails to fail.’

That’s Station 19 in a nutshell.

And I’m so over expending excess energy wishing or complaining for more, so I’m just going to focus on what we do have.

I love that Maya found it hard to go to work that morning. I honestly don’t think she was late because she was grabbing the keys for the house. Because – well – Carina got into the house.

Maya had the keys, but the movers, and all their stuff managed to get into the house.

I think she was late because she just didn’t want to leave her wife and baby. And I like that idea I’ve planted into my head, and I will be keeping this delusion. Thank you, no further questions on the matter.

As for Carina’s stuff. I’m so freaking torn.

Because on the one hand, I’m super glad she has someone in her corner besides Maya. Because they murdered off her brother, leaving her without much of a support system.

I mean, on these shows break-ups and mishaps are common place and usually that involves one half of the couple sleeping on someone’s couch. In Carina’s case she slept in a hotel room for who knows how long. I hated that.

So it was super nice to see Bailey there for her. Reassuring her that she did everything she could and bad things can still happen. I can even understand Bailey pointing out that the other woman isn’t a villain either. She’s a mother struggling to get by and lawsuits can help pay for things.

Do I think it’s right to come after someone who isn’t responsible? No.

Sometimes, life just hands us shitty deals. But since there aren’t enough things in place to help people deal with those problems, lawsuits become the answer.

And I would love this storyline, if I thought this show could be trusted with it.

But I don’t.

I’m holding my expectations at this is the last we hear of it. Especially given the shortened and final season.

Because this show is a mess. Anyone who picks it up will have to clean house first. I’m serious. If I was taking over this show, I’d start getting rid of characters like I was throwing away trash. There are too many damn people and plots going on that don’t go together.

Speaking of which.

It’s the final season and we’ve finally figured out that relationship angst and sperm talk are not the only way to give a female/female couple drama.

So we’re dropping a lawsuit, an adoption, possibly IVF, moving, and a long-lost brother into the ten-episode season.

Of all the scenarios I thought up of Mason returning, this wasn’t on the list.

But I like it.

It makes sense as Maya pointed out, given how they were raised. Given Maya’s own reluctance to say out loud to her parents’ faces that she was queer, she had some issues over it too. So Mason losing himself in a different way than Maya over how they were brought up is a nice thought.

Plus, I love when shows carrying on other people’s storylines even when they’re not shown.

It feels like Mason has lived a whole life. His plot didn’t move forward only because of Maya. It feels like two separate siblings living their lives after losing track of each other.

And it could be sooooo good. If I trusted this show. I’m almost a little upset I never thought of this one myself.

Because the angst and drama is soooo good here.

I mean, think about it.

The last time Maya saw Mason, he purposely disappeared from her life. She dropped off stuff and the next morning when she went through the same area, he packed up, and was gone.

He’s been mentioned here and there.

One of which was on Maya’s wedding day.

She wanted to invite him!

Or the second time, when Carina brought him up as a possible sperm donor so they would know the genes of their baby.

Ouch, ouch, ouch.

Imagine all those moments. Maya wanted to share them with him. Or in the second one, Carina did. Only to find out in the worst way possible that he hates her very existence.

Also, the shot of them seeing each other in the crowd during the parade was excellent. I liked it. It added to the whole moment.

Then again, when Maya shouted at him, and the Bishop siblings stood on opposite sides, staring at each other.

That moment was thick with tension.

Of everything Maya was thinking to herself. Everything she knew about herself that her brother hates. That he was screaming against. That he was harassing people about.

Thinking about her perfect wife and baby at home, living in a world where the brother-in-law and uncle might be horrible. Might be lost to her for good.

Imagine, Maya. All the moments she must have thought of him.

Thinking he might be dead. And when he never turns up dead or overdosed at some scene, she thinks, maybe, just maybe he’s okay. Maybe he got clean, he found a family, people who love him, and maybe he’s living his best life. Maybe he’s happy.

Even if she never sees him again.

Maybe, just maybe, he’s okay.

Except she does see him again.

And her wife lost a brother. One who died trying to save a bunch of sex-trafficked girls. A wonderful man robbed of his life too soon. Who would have been thrilled to be uncle. Who would have been cheering on his sister getting married. Who would have let her sleep on his couch while she was separated from Maya.

One who loves unconditionally.

But the brother of them, that’s still alive.

The uncle her son has remaining in this world is spewing hatred and fear into the world.

Ouch.

My goodness, this would be juicy storyline.

One so juicy, I’d rather the fic writers handle it, than the writers on staff of the show.

Back to the good.

I love that Carina was completely frazzled by having of her own. She’s delivered countless babies. But she’s never had one. And it’s totally different.

She’s tired, covered in vomit, who knows what else, and is being sued. She’s stressed and Liam feels it. So he’s fussy. He’s escaping blankets feeding on her energy.

Where, when she’s a doctor, she’s perfectly in control. She’s going to go home and sleep. Her shift will end, and the baby will no longer be her responsibility.

There’s no clocking out when you’re the mom.

I loved that bit of realism, how different it is to be the one in charge of this little life.

I also enjoyed the full circle moment. Carina was there when Bailey lost the baby whose stuff that was supposed to be. It felt poetic that Bailey passed it onto Carina’s son now.

I’m really enjoying that dynamic.

Because Bailey isn’t very soft for people.

But she has such a soft spot for Carina who just does her job so well. Who is a good person and is one of the people who understands what it’s like to be married to a firefighter.

There’s a solid connection and I love that.

Final note, I loved the moment of Maya pulling into the driveway. She just looked so relieved to be home and with her family. The little moment on the porch was sweet.

As well as Carina showing Maya the crib. I really wish we could have seen them put it together.

Or seen Andrew helping Carina put it together so his sister could take all the credit. I might write that for my AO3 series where I have Andrew alive. Maybe.

There are so many things I wish for this couple. I wish they could have had a conversation about Mason, about the lawsuit, about anything. I wish they were celebrated at Pride instead of feeling separate to the show.

On Monday, I watched a LGBTQ female couple be fully intergrated into the plot and it shocked me. Kacy FYI. They weren’t kept off to the side. They were right in the mix as terrible things happened to one half of the couple and then they were able to hug and have a moment together. One prompted by another character. They are the main couple and treated as such.

Unlike Marina.

That’s always pushed to the side. I’m not surprised, but I am annoyed because I can see one show doing it so well and I’m excited and praising them for it. While another screws it up at every turn because they don’t care. They checked the box by having the couple and moved on.

While NCIS: Hawai’i wants the couple to be part of the show.

That’s the difference. Right there. Simple as that.

And it’s annoying and frustrating.

So, I’m keeping my expectations low. I want them happy when season seven ends. Together, with their kids, and living their best life. That’s all I need.

Don’t mess it up, Station 19.

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