We all have those relatives we could do without. They show up get on your nerves. They make comments about everything you’re doing or what you should have done instead.
They just never know when to shut up.
We all have those people we wish we could enjoy the holidays without. Unfortunately, avoiding them or not inviting them is for some reasons considered impolite or rude.
WHY?
Welcome to the new age here. I suggest, maybe, just maybe we ourselves a favor, mentally, emotionally, and maybe physically and stop inviting people we hate to family functions.
JUST STOP.
That’s my first piece of advice.
I have done this for the sake of family until I thought – why do I keep doing this?
I don’t like them. No one else likes them. Why bother inviting them?
My entire holiday so much brighter without them.
So, if you’re able and won’t be nagged by older family members about keeping peace with people you hate stop inviting them. It’s an outdated idea that we have to get along with or deal with or choose the people we were born with.
I am soundly of the mind that if they don’t value you or show up for you or if they’re ungrateful for the people they claim to care for it’s better to cut ties and move on.
Life is too short to make your holidays miserable by sharing them with people you don’t like.
Okay, I’ll alright. I get it. Sometimes, you have to invite family members you don’t like to make nice with the ones you do like, or maybe – just maybe – you go to a relative’s house for the holidays and can’t avoid the people you could do without. Sometimes, circumstances force us to deal with people you don’t like in situations you can’t avoid.
So, some advice to get through those moments.
Find an ally.
There is always someone at these things who don’t like the same people you do. Maybe it’s a cousin, maybe your parents, a brother, sister, significant other, it doesn’t matter who. Find the person you can confide in whenever they do something stupid.
Like insist they be made a dish only they eat and like but want you to do the work and pay for everything while they sit on their ass.
Whoever that person is for you, find them, and keep in sight of them all night or within talking range. Either way, they’ll be a nice outlet for my next suggestion.
Eye rolling.
No, I’m not kidding. When they do something stupid, very subtly look to your ally, and roll your eyes.
It helps. I’m very serious about this.
Sometimes, finding small ways to let your frustrations out keeps you from blowing up when you shouldn’t. It’s the little things.
Sarcasm.
In my opinion, the best way to fight stupidity is with sarcasm.
Very seldomly do the stupid truly understand when the sarcasm directed at them is insulting. This is my favorite outlet. I’ll break out the sarcasm, crap all over them, and usually only the people closest to me know I’m ripping on the idiots I can’t stand.
Sarcasm. Don’t leave home without it.
Some people like to play it off too with saying they were just joking when the sarcasm becomes too insulting. Honestly, I just lean into it.
What? You can’t take my dark humor? Don’t talk to me anymore, do something healthy for yourself, and avoid my toxicity.
Avoidance.
Avoid at all costs. If your family is big enough or the function is big enough. Just avoid them as much as possible. Don’t sit by them. Don’t allow yourself to become trapped in a room with them. Hang out with your ally as much as possible to avoid having to listen to them.
Sit at the opposite end of the table.
Need to use the bathroom whenever you’re almost cornered. Offer to help in the kitchen.
Build an add on to the house. Do the dishes.
Be creative! For goodness’ sake your mental health is at stake here, people! Make some good excuses as to why you’re needed anywhere but with these people.
Set boundaries.
If this gathering is at your house and you’ve be unable to keep the disliked from joining the festivities this year, make it clear that it is past time for them to go home.
Anybody else have those guests that never understand that they have overstayed their welcome?
In my house, we make it clear it’s time to go.
Or at least, those who can get away with it do. My grandfather is known for having had enough of people in his house by just standing up and declaring it’s time for them to go, and then heading to his bedroom for the night.
Seriously, if you have an elder in your home, have them do this. Older folk are past politically correct and just want some damn peace and quiet. They have little time left to waste in this life and don’t mince words. Plus, no one ever wants to yell or disagree with a sweet older gentleman.
Or…
Sarcasm. I’m serious. Just keep the sarcasm flowing and keep on bugging them about it being time to leave. They’ll think you’re joking but will eventually get sick of you and leave.
Or flat out tell them.
At some point, I get sick of the lack of understanding and will insist they leave. Like my goodness, don’t you people miss your home?
Literally, from the moment I leave my house 90% of the time, I’m wishing to be back there.
Be rude.
Nope, not kidding.
One year we were all told be an elder family member to be on our best behavior for this dinner. No one was to be rude or say something impolite. Ten minutes into dinner she’s the first to be rude and impolite because someone opened their mouth and said something stupid.
Dinner ended quickly and they left without lingering.
Sometimes, letting your naughty side out to play helps make things go smoother.
All in all, I suggest you do what’s best for you. Not everything is one size fits all. And family issues are different for everyone. Sometimes, it’s a family you married into or one you choose with a friend or a loved one. Every issue is different.
But the best advice I can give anyone is do what’s best for you.
Take breaks. Walk away if you have to.
Hurting yourself to please others is never the right solution. I did it for many years and I’ve learned the best thing is to walk away.
Ignoring can help too. There have been plenty of times when they try to get a rise out of me, and I don’t bother because it’s not worth it.
Don’t let someone ruin your holiday!
DISCLAIMER: Some of the suggestions here are made lightheartedly and meant to be jokes. Outcomes will vary should you use these techniques. Please, use wisely.
As always thank you for reading!
Read on and spread the love!
Thank you for supporting me, if you liked this blog please follow me here, and drop a tip on my Ko-Fi page to help me fund my webpage and other endeavors!
Leave a Reply