Amac Productions

Welcome to Listen To This!

If you’re new here, welcome! Every month, I’ll drop a new wild story from all my years working in retail! Names and other identifiers have been changed so everyone may remain anonymous. All terrible customers will be referred to as Karen.

I’m Not Telling You Where I Live

If you think that I’m kidding, I’m really not.

This all happened one fine day. Things were going well, I was in a good mood, and even this phone call didn’t ruin my day.

It did make me scratch my head though.

Honestly, the title makes this sound sketchier than it really was. Or maybe not, I don’t know. You decide.

One fine day at General Nonsense the phone rings.

Not an unusual occurrence to say the least but the question was definitely unusual.

This is where you’re like someone called and asked me where I lived and I said the title. Right? Wrong.

I answer the phone and say my usual greeting.

“General Nonsense, Amac speaking, how may I help you?”

The person says hello and is fairly polite in their greeting and then shocks me with their question. “How do I get there from Copperhead?”

I blink.

“What?”

I’m super confused because I have no idea what conversation I’ve just stepped into.

Like he heard the name of the store, right? He knows this isn’t some hotline for directions or something?

Do they have those?

I’m questioning what’s happening right now.

“How do I get to the General Nonsense from the Copperhead bus station?”

More confused blinking from me and a sound that was probably like uhhhhhhhhhhhh…?

“I don’t know.” I say, still super confused.

Most people call this location and ask me if I have a book in stock or maybe a movie or a certain vinyl. Don’t get a whole lot of ‘how do I get there?’

Actually, I get none of that. This was a first.

(Not my last, but that’s another story.)

“Like what bus do I take to get there from Copperhead?”

“I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know.” I answer, trying to be polite, but having no idea how to help.

“Can you ask someone?”

“Like anyone or another employee?” I’m so confused at this point, I didn’t know if I was coming or going.

“Another employee sounds good.”

Oh good, he’s confused too. Glad it’s not just me. I feel better.

But I try it. Over the headset I ask if anyone knows how to get here from the Copperhead bus station.

Silence.

It’s moments like those that I try really hard to imagine my coworkers faces when asked strange as hell questions out of the blue. Just the sheer confusion on their faces must be wonderful. Not to mention, it probably happened suddenly too. So if they were talking to a customer, they’re now looking at them super confused, and the customer doesn’t know why.

What fun.

It takes a moment, but they start to answer that none of them have a clue.

Only Craig who lives in Copperhead has a clue how to get here from there, but not from the bus station. Only by the highway which is no help when I convey it to the gentleman on the phone.

He doesn’t live in Copperhead, he’s just at the bus station trying to get here. He doesn’t know which highway or what. He just wants to know what bus number takes him here.

“I wouldn’t have a clue.” I say, thinking there’s very little I can do. “Maybe try asking someone who works at the bus station.”

Perhaps that’s a novel concept, I don’t know.

I don’t typically go and ask people who work other places how to get to a place. I ask the people I think might know and if I were in a bus station I would assume the people working there may have a clue where the buses go.

Or at least could direct you to the right person.

Me? I can show you where we keep the maps in the building, but beyond that insert a shrug here.

“Well how do you get there?”

I resist the urge to say by car.

“Well, I drive.” I answer, not waiting to give out personal information to complete stranger who doesn’t seem to understand that I don’t know how to get to my work from anywhere in the world.

“From where?”

I sigh. I live in a fairly large city, so I give the city I live in.

“Appleside.”

Apparently where I live was unhelpful. Just as I thought it would be.

“Don’t you know how to get to your store?”

“Yes, from my house.”

“Where do you live exactly?”

“I’m not telling you where I live. I don’t know you.” I answer plainly.

Honestly, I don’t even remember what he said after that. By this point, confused coworkers were joining me at customer service to find out what was going on with my last question over the headset. Which meant they arrived in time to hear me say that.

Their faces were priceless.

It was a range of shock and confusion and anger. I think they were ready to throw down with guy.

But here’s the thing.

For as weird as it sounded, I don’t think he might much harm. I mean, I’m still not telling a random stranger where I live, but it felt like he was so frustrated with trying to get somewhere he was just trying to determine something.

Because he didn’t push it or ask any further questions about my address. It was like his mouth spoke before he thought through the question was the vibe I got.

But then I realize after waving off the death glares to the phone from my coworkers that he’s still talking.

He’s telling me how he’s been trying to get there all day and he’s been given the wrong instructions and rode several buses. He just wants to get to the store, so he thought he’d call the store and ask if we knew how to get there. Which bus route would be best.

“Do you know what I mean?”

“I understand, sir. But you have to understand that I don’t know how to get here from anywhere in the world. Just my house, which I come from every day to get here. But I’m never in Copperhead and the one guy who is, drives. He doesn’t take the bus, so he doesn’t know either.”

Long silence as he contemplates this information.

I felt genuinely bad, and I think the coworker directly in front of me understood this gentleman was struggling and not attempting to be weird. That it was more of misstep in the conversation than anything else.

My coworker – Stacy – started looking up the bus routes on our computer. She asked me where he was coming from again and I answered. I informed him a coworker was trying to find the bus schedule, give us a moment.

He thanked me calmly and apologized. He’s new to living here and he’s been misdirected twice trying to get here today and he’s just upset.

“I get it.”

But then we’re interrupted by a kind couple of women who have overheard part of the conversation. Funnily enough, they live in Copperhead and used to take the bus here after school sometimes to hang out. If it hasn’t changed, it would be this bus, at this time.

Confirmed with the website, I gave the instructions to the gentleman.

He thanked us so much and the women and then went off on his merry way. Stacy and I told him we’d probably see him once he got there, so come say hi.

He did.

And thanked us for helping him. He’s been a regular ever since.

It was an odd interaction I’ll never forget because it could have gotten weird or creepy, but it just didn’t. We even chatted with the women for a little while since they helped us out and the gentleman apologized for asking where I lived.

All in all, it was funny, weird, and it turned out alright. I wish everything went this way.

See you next month! Don’t forget to hit that like and subscribe button!