Amac Productions

It Smells In Here, Did You Know That?

Welcome to Listen To This!

If you’re new here, welcome! Every month, I’ll drop a new wild story from all my years working in retail! Names and other identifiers have been changed so everyone may remain anonymous. All terrible customers will be referred to as Karen.

On with the show!

One of the most annoying things is to be told something you already know.

Especially, when that thing is unpleasant and there’s little you can do about it. I’m living with it, could you maybe try that too? Or just leave. You have that option, I don’t. I’m working a full shift here.

I don’t know what to tell you.

Well, this happened one day at work.

Everything is going pretty well on this particular day. A busy Saturday to be sure, but nothing that couldn’t be handled and I probably should have known things were too good to be true.

A smooth day means there’s about to be a catastrophe. A major one.

Otherwise, there would have been a lot of small issues.

But I, the unsuspecting schmuck carries on with my day, until Kath calls me over the headset to ask for my help.

Why me?

Why me is right.

It’s always me Kath calls when something truly hits the fan for multiple reasons. I don’t freak out in the face of terrible things. Nor do I get easily disgusted.

For the longest time while Kath and I worked together, I was nicknamed her ‘trash buddy.’ Because I’d do all the gross jobs that made other people nauseas with her. Because she had an iron stomach and mind as well.

So I’m summoned to the registers only to find and be forewarned, the most disgusting array of puke I’d ever seen.

For some context, it was rainbow.

I’ll leave it at that.

Well, and the smell.

Just imagine the worst vomit smell or don’t.

Unfortunately, a kid got sick. Hey, it happens. It came on more suddenly than either he or his mom expected. And I have to give props to the kid for managing to hit everything within a five foot radius of him.

It was all over displays, the floor, the counter holding the registers, and a lot of merchandise we tossed.

We saved what we could, but honestly none of us wanted anything puke had touched, and we doubted the customers would either. A lot of stuff ended up in the trash and that was fine.

It’s part of life.

What I didn’t need, was to be told by every customer in the damn store that it stunk and would you please do something about that.

Well, what the hell do you think I’m doing knee deep in vomit? Having a pool party?

A picnic?

I’ve got news for you, I’m not doing this for fun!

Yuck.

It’s gross and everywhere. I’m wearing blue gloves, I’ve got a mop, and all the wonderful smelling things I have available, but guess what?

It’s not really enough.

The store stinks and there’s a lot to clean up so it smelt for a while. And endless streams of people came to tell me that it smelled in here.

Did you know there’s a really foul smell coming from up here?

What is that smell? You should do something about that.

Oh my goodness, I just came in and it stinks. Why does it smell so bad?

What is that smell?

Could you get rid of the smell?

It’s quite foul, would you please do something about the smell? My goodness, it’s been stinking up the place for ten minutes now.

Well, gee, if I didn’t have to keep answering this question just phrased in a new way, maybe I could get something done. Instead, I’m having this conversation with you.

Why don’t you open a window?

BECAUSE THEY DON’T OPEN.

Yes, I know it smells. Yes, I’m trying my best to get rid of the smell. I’m working on it as fast as I can, I’m sorry it’s not to your standards.

But maybe if you all left me alone for five minutes.

Then there’s the customers that walked right through the wet floor, not the vomit, but the wet floor after we cleaned it. Then complained they almost fell.

Even though we told them not to walk there and put up a caution wet floor sign.

Apparently, we just like the sign for decoration and hearing ourselves speak. We weren’t actually trying to convey any important information you might need.

No.

Ignore us.

Do as you please.

Then complain about something we told you to avoid.

I really want to see if today is the day, my eyes get stuck while rolling them.

I also loved the questions about whether or not we’re doing anything about the smell while standing there holding a mop, with a mop bucket, and several trash bags filled around me was not an obvious answer.

No, this is just how I operate every day here.

With gloves on and a mop in my hand. I don’t use them for anything. I just like to have them with me as a security blanket.

Thanks for asking.

Apparently, context clues were not commonly taught in school for these people.

At one point, I had to go back to the cleaning supply closet to grab something else and I was stopped by a woman who told me it stunk. I said we were working on it, someone got sick, and it’s a mess.

She told me to work faster.

Isn’t that nice?

A little encouragement to go with the mess.

Because before this I was taking my time as this was truly how I wanted to spend my entire shift, cleaning up vomit from every nook and cranny. While I’m constantly bothered that it smells and I’m not cleaning to anyone satisfaction.

Well, hey, you’re free to pick up a mop and help me out.

Because as I said before, this kid impressed me.

With not only how much came out of this small person, but how he managed to get it on either within his eyesight. Like damn, this kid would have won a gold medal in vomiting in the Olympics.

If there were such a disgusting category.

So many crevices with vomit.

So many compliants.

Please, know that if there’s an issue like this and an employee explains that it’s being worked on – know this: They don’t like it anymore than you do.

But unlike you, they’re stuck there dealing with the smell. Or worse, they’re the one responsible for cleaning it and taking the vomit covered stands to the trash and all the bags. Not to mention, crawling on the floor to ensure it didn’t land underneath anything.

You can leave the store when you want.

They’re stuck there until the shift ends. Which for me that day was hours from then.

Next time, just take their word for it, and if you can’t stand it, you’re welcome to leave.

Yeesh.

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