Amac Productions

Just screw everything and everyone!

What the hell?!

I don’t like this. I don’t like it at all.

I don’t know how we ended up here anymore. What is happening? Why did this happen? How could it come to this after everything we suffered at the beginning of the season? Like what in the world was that?

Haven’t we all suffered enough?

The audience and Xena and Gabrielle. Jeez.

I don’t even know where to start.

To be fair, I had some warning coming into this episode that nothing was going to be okay. I mean, my girlfriend was laughing manically as we watched the first half and she’s a lover of all things angst. So I had some clue that I was going to be in pain. And of course, there was Ares cashing in his debt last episode with Gabrielle to get her to stop Xena.

Except apparently, everyone forgot about what Gabrielle would do to save Xena’s life.

And how could she not after the gayest of the gay declarations came out of Xena’s mouth?

I mean, what was that speech?!

“You gave my life meaning and joy.” She doesn’t regret a thing that brought them here because she just loves Gabrielle so much. More than anything in the world. Something she wonders about when she says that Hope and Gabrielle look alike. That Hope is the person she hates most, while Gabrielle is the one she loves in all the world.

I mean holy effing shit.

Did Xena think she could just say that and then just sacrifice herself? Like Gabrielle would be totally chill with that.

Nope.

Gabrielle follows that up with the gayest shit known to man or monkey. Yeeting herself and her daughter into a lava pit to kill her evil child while screaming Xena’s name as she plummets to her death.

Also, she cannot have died.

Even if she did, Xena is going to find a way to bring her back. Right?

I mean that happened in season two with Xena. We can manage it a second time. Right? Right?!

Someone tell me I’m right. Because there are still three more seasons to go which means Gabrielle will still be there. On the other hand, I’m also freaking out a little because burned in a pool of lava seems pretty freaking final. After all, I sincerely hope this has finally done Hope in.

Because holy shit, I’m done with this chick.

She’s now killed two of my favorite characters and I hate her.

So much.

Even freaking Gabrielle hates her. The line about wishing the poison had killed her was so cold! I mean, it was perfect. Although, I did freak out a bit because maybe don’t say that to the all-powerful being that just took on you and Xena like ten minutes ago.

Oh and gross!!!!

Her and Ares. EWWWW!

Yuck.

I’m with Callisto!

I’m out. EWWWWWWW! Why?

My eyes!

This is like season two with Callisto and Ares while she was in Xena’s body. Yuck! Just ew. Gross. Nope. Couldn’t watch that. Jumping forward.

Which also leads to the pregnancy and ew. Why can’t Dahak and his kid just fall in love like normal people and have children? Is that too much to ask for? Like you can go all world domination all you want, but the gross love interest, and violence there is where I draw the effing line.

Nope. Can’t do it.

I’m with Callisto. I just have to go.

Also, when Callisto announced that to Xena and Gabrielle, I expected more of a reaction. But hey, there was a lot going on, first of all. Second, maybe they just wanted to ignore that. Like nope, too much to deal with, will unpack that later. And well, later never really came because later came with new horrors.

JEEZ.

I did however love Callisto following them around like a puppy trying to figure out what Xena’s plan was. Never leaving them alone. Watching Gabrielle like a hawk because she presumed that Xena wouldn’t trust anyone else besides her beloved Gabrielle to fetch the dagger.

Callisto was adorably annoying during those scenes, and it goes well with what I said last week that she should give up trying to predict Xena. Because she doesn’t see all the angles Xena does.

Like saying that Xena’s pain was worth living for. Of course, that would cause Xena to kill you. Also, I have no regrets about that choice. I fully understood Xena wanting her to live with that boredom as punishment, but also let’s not risk her causing more harm.

Thank you.

I also love that by refusing Callisto’s help, it pushed Callisto to be more on their side to prove her point. That she knew Xena would keep her word if she could get her to agree. That even if there were added complications because Xena always has something up her sleeve, it would be better than dealing with Hope.

Who may never give her what she wants, because as I pointed out while watching it – what if Hope decides you’re always useful? What then?

Apparently, Callisto had the same thought. With Xena’s distrust and Callisto’s desperation she actually became a relatively useful ally. Mostly.

I also adored that Xena took no time at all to discern that Hope was pretending to be Gabrielle.

While doing this, I loved that Hope was trying to understand her mother’s choices. Why would she kill her? Why did she no longer love her as she had when she was first born? Why didn’t she protect and love her?

Because of Xena?

Why does she love Xena so much? Why is she the most important person in all the world to her mother?

It was completely fascinating to watch Hope try and understand. While also so much fun to watch Renee get a chance to stretch her acting legs and play a totally different character with Hope. Her voice was pitched low and raspy and utterly creepy. Her walk. Her tipped down head. Eyes full of rage and hate.

It’s pretty easy to see the difference between them thanks to Renee. I really loved that. And I loved that Hope doesn’t understand her mother enough to mimic her properly. Immediately tipping off Xena.

Loved Xena just holding a knife on her like just go eff yourself. I know you’re not the love of my life. Did you really think I would fall for that? Did you? Get the hell out of here.

I so loved that moment.

And I loved how angry Hope was.

The bond between Xena and Gabrielle so thorough and unshakable that even someone wearing Gabrielle’s face is unable to get between them. Or trick them. Xena knew without a doubt that this wasn’t Gabrielle she was speaking to and without hesitation drew a weapon. Loved it.

Loved that it pissed Hope off much like Gabrielle’s comment that she wished her daughter stayed dead.

Ouch.

Now, one of my ultimate favorite moments in this episode was Xena just turning tail and screaming at Joxer until he left. Not because she was screaming at Joxer and calling him names. That actually hurt my heart.

Literally, I was watching it and I was super confused. Because even before they loved Joxer like an annoying brother, Xena was never really mean to him. She and Gabrielle pick on him. Tease him like they would an annoying sibling. But they are never cruel to him. Not really.

Never to just be spiteful.

I mean, maybe early on in season two I might have wanted this. However, it felt so randomly out of place that I did not understand it. In fact, Xena was more often than not the first person to be nice to Joxer. Giving him a pep talk when Aphrodite used him to break up a couple.

She’s actually been pretty kind to him. The end of season two when she gently presses a hand to his shoulder because she knows he’s hurting over the fact that Gabrielle doesn’t have feelings for him.

This scene felt totally out of place but made so much sense like ten minutes later as it’s revealed that Joxer fetched the god killing blade.

Once again illustrating how intelligent Xena is. Because she knew everyone was watching her like a hawk. And that people like Callisto who knew her or even Hope who Xena mentioned the dagger to when she was pretending to be Gabrielle, people might suspect that Xena would only trust Gabrielle outside herself to get the dagger. Therefore, there are a lot of eyes on Gabrielle as well.

I also wondered if Gabrielle was in on this plan since she made no move to stop Xena from yelling at Joxer or even chide her about it for being too cruel. They simply carried on.

Which while Xena is ‘yelling’ at Joxer, Gabrielle is distracting Callisto who suspects that Gabrielle slipped off to retrieve the dagger during the previous fight.

It’s a perfect plan and I love it.

Because literally no one is going to suspect Joxer.

Especially when he gets himself captured. He does all this to get the dagger into the temple and to Xena in time. Which is a perfect plan demonstrating not only Xena’s brains, but Joxer’s heart, and willingness to help his friends.

Joxer is actually a really good guy and character and I’m now wondering how I ever disliked him so much because I felt genuinely hurt when Xena yelled at him. Like hey, he’s trying his best.

But no, he’s actually doing his best. He’s playing along with the gag, getting the dagger, getting into the room with Xena, and then getting her the dagger successfully without anyone noticing until it’s too late. It’s amazing and I love it.

It was an amazing piece of storytelling and character growth.

It also perfectly goes with the ending that Joxer was so integral to the plan to take down Hope, that both he and Xena despite doing everything they could to make the plan go off without a hitch did not account for Gabrielle’s willingness to die for Xena. Just as Xena is for her.

Thus, both Joxer and Xena are left screaming for her at the top of the lava pit.

And I’m not sure what sort of poetic moment goes here, but I do love that Xena is not alone in her grief.

As both scream out in pain, though Joxer’s slightly less than Xena’s. Which I also loved. Kudos to Ted and Lucy for nailing that.

The scream of devastation from both of them is entirely different as the loves between them are different, just as the relationships are different. Each screaming out in their own kind of pain but coming together at the top of the hole in pain together, regardless.

Lucy and Ted nail the moment so well.

As does Renee who has the briefest of moments making eye contact with Xena telling her everything without words.

I’m sorry. I couldn’t let you die. I love you. Don’t blame yourself. I made this choice because I couldn’t bear to let you die.

So much said with those eyes. That is how you act ladies and gentlemen.

Good lord, there were so many wonderful and horrible things about this episode. I loved that Callisto and Hope are dead. We put out Dahak. I think. Joxer and Xena can grieve together or find a way to bring her back. I don’t know. Ares is probably going to be whooped by his godly family for turning his back on them.

I hope.

Maybe we’ll get a break from his assholeishness for a while.

Doubt it. But I can dream.

Lucy, Renee, and Ted are just amazing.

Hudson and Kevin are just… rockstars as bad guys.

It’s all so good and I need a moment to recover because I’m sure the next episode is going to be pretty painful with Xena in her grief. Or rage. Oh, god, what in the world is she going to do?

Tear the world apart to bring Gabrielle back?

Is she the utter inspiration for Delihah Briarwood? Who has one of my all-time favorite lines about trying to protect and save her husband and everything she did in line with that. “I BROKE THE WORLD FOR YOU.”

Is Xena about to break the world? OHHH. I’m here for it. Moment over! Babe! We gotta watch the next one!

If her and I can coordinate schedules, I’ll see you next week! As always, thank you for reading!

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