Amac Productions

Welcome to Listen To This!

If you’re new here, welcome! Every month, I’ll drop a new wild story from all my years working in retail! Names and other identifiers have been changed so everyone may remain anonymous. All terrible customers will be referred to as Karen.

If You Don’t Know What They Want, Why Would I?

Last month, Craig was attacked by boxes.

So. Many. Boxes.

If you haven’t read that, check it out!

The holidays are descending around General Nonsense as Christmas creeps ever closer. Now, I do not mention Christmas specifically to exclude anyone. It is merely the most retail driven holiday this time of the year and one people go absolutely bonkers to us every year.

As such, this year I’ve catalogued some of the most ridiculous things I get asked, and thought over which one is positively the most annoying.

“What should I get my [fill in the blank] for Christmas?”

What?

What?!

Let’s unpack this question, okay?

We’ll start by filling in the blank with one of the most common ones. Wife. “What should I get my wife for Christmas?”

There. Now we’ve filled in the blank, and the question seems even dumber than before. Because here’s the thing. I get this version of this question. A lot.

Like, a lot, a lot.

It’s always men as well. I’m not saying it can never be a woman asking this question. I’m just saying I’ve never had a woman ask me what to get her wife during my retail experience. I’ve had women ask other dumb questions, don’t worry.

This about their wife is most asked by men. Or always men as far as I’m concerned.

“What should I get my wife for Christmas?”

I don’t know man. I don’t know you’re wife.

That’s the first problem. Alright? Are you with me? Good.

Stay with me now, because this next part is super important to the conversation.

THIS IS ALL THE INFORMATION I’VE BEEN GIVEN ABOUT THIS WOMAN!

I’ll be working and inevitably, once a day, for all of December I’m asked, “What should I get my wife for Christmas?” And that is the only thing they’ve said to me.

Sorry sir, I’ve never met the woman. How the h*ell would I know what the f*ck she wants for Christmas. You married her. Don’t you think you might have a better chance at knowing what she’ll want?

I mean, you had to have spoken to her at least once or twice before getting married. I would think, you would know something about her.

For this, I ask follow up questions.

They usually get me nowhere.

Now, I have a girlfriend. We’ve been together for over a year, and this is our second Christmas together. But even with our first Christmas together, I could tell you a hundred things she would want. I know her very well and she knows me. We’ve talked. I have an endless list of things I could buy for her at any moment.

I walk through stores and my entire life and think, ‘oh, she’d like that.’

Why don’t you?!

Why?

Now, it may seem like I’m hating on men for doing this, but I promise you, they are not alone.

Let’s redo the question filling in the blank with another word. Grandchild.

“What should I get my grandchild for Christmas?”

Again, this is all the information I’m given and they expect me to have an answer at the ready for them. I know nothing about this child. Age, gender, religion, favorite color, tv show, or literally anything besides it may be a small child. Though – again – that is not confirmed.

This is always asked by grandmothers.

Grandfathers are way easier. Even if they don’t know anything about the grandchild, they will not ask for help under any circumstances to prolong shopping during the holiday season. They will grab the first toy or book they believe will cover it and check-out at once.

Not grandma.

Nope.

She’s asking me to pick out 12 gifts for 12 grandchildren and hasn’t told me a lick about them. Then when I do ask, I get the same answer as before.

Although, I suppose this is more believable than not knowing what your spouse will want since you presumably spend a significant chunk of your time with them.

However, children at Christmas are the easiest to shop for.

Pick a freaking toy.

There is a very large toy section at the General Nonsense, stocked with toys for all ages, and many even have learning tools built in. While the child has fun, they learn math. Lovely. Puzzles, games, fidgets, blocks, Lego, and so much more.

Go back there and pick one. Very easy.

“Oh, but do you think this will be good for a six-year-old?” First piece of information about the child and she’s picked out a globe that tells you random facts about the world in the 8 to 12 section of the toy department. Because yes, they’re labeled by age.

It’s almost like we want you to find what you’re looking for without much difficulty.

“What should I get my brother for Christmas?”

Why would I know? Honestly.

Stop and think about what you’re asking of a complete stranger. You want them to pick out the perfect gift for your family member, that you have told them nothing about, nor have they met them. Yet somehow, you’d like me to wave a magic wand and poof the right gift into your hands.

Hey, if I could do that, I would not be here at the General Nonsense.

I would like to make clear that both genders are guilty of asking this question and expecting miracles. I am pointing out the two that are most common for me.

Also, fun fact, if you’ve never met the person, you’re buying a gift for, and you somehow expect me to know what this person wants, you’re out of luck. Unless the mystery person you’re buying for is me, my family, or friends.

I love it when people are like “What would you want in this person’s shoes?” As though this follow-up will help make decisions.

It won’t.

Hate to break it to you, but I’m a fairly nerdy individual and you come here once a year to get gifts for your family members you never see or donate to a church or toys for tots. My taste is not general enough to help you out.

Once, a woman asked me for the last book I read to help her decide on something to pick for herself. I told her, based on her previous book choices which were fairly generic for a casual reader, that she wouldn’t like it. She told me to just tell her anyway, as though the booksellers all have the same taste as every customer who walks in.

I told her I had just completed a tie-in book to the Arrow and Flash TV shows.

“That doesn’t help me.” She said flatly. Well, I did warn you.

I like what I like. Just like other people in the world. Maybe you should spend five minutes talking with them before you come and ask a total stranger what the people in your life want for the holidays.

Even if you just outright ask them what they want and get it for them, it’ll be way more thoughtful than a random recommendation from a stranger in a store somewhere.

Also, overall, once I get past the generic responses and manage to get them talking about the person, I can typically lead them in the right direction. You know these people better than you think you do. I don’t mind helping you to find the perfect gift, but you can’t expect me to know them better than you do!

You’ve got to give me something to work with here! Anything! I promise any information is more helpful than just, “What should I get my [fill in the blank] for Christmas?”

You know more than you think you do. And you’re experiencing a brain freeze because the holidays are overwhelming. So take a moment and think about the people you’re buying presents for this season. What they like to read, drink, listen to, or where they go.

Maybe they’re traveling and need travel books.

Maybe they want to learn a new skill or language. Maybe they’ve been on a romance book kick and need a new author to devour. Maybe they need new bored games or books to go with their video games. Maybe there’s a cookbook based on their favorite show or movie.

There are tons of gifts you’ve never even realized are possible until you really think about that person.

Wow, this got way more PSA than I intended, but hey, I want the holidays, and the shopping season to go smoothly for everyone.

Be nice to the retail workers out there, have a few fun facts about the people on your shopping list ready for when you’re stumped and need help. They don’t know this person like you, but they know the store, and their products. They’ll help you find the perfect gift, if you help them too.

Oh, and especially if you’re nice to them amidst the chaos. They’ll do anything they can to make your holiday just right.

The END. Of season one.

Season one of Listen To This has come to a close! Stay tuned next year for season two coming in January 2026!

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Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year from Amac Productions to you!

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