10 Reasons Halloween Sucks

1. Too Much Candy

Sugar high? Fattening?

My goodness, who doesn’t eat too much candy?

Stomach ache? Toothache? The list could never end of all the ways too much candy doesn’t help. And it’s everywhere! Tempting you, enticing you, telling you one more won’t hurt.

Don’t listen to it.

2. Scary

Everyone is out to scare you.

All the time.

People in masks. People with hidden tricks. There’s something spooky around every corner! Even on TV!

Nothing is safe!

3. Costumes

Everyone is in costumes.

Not even just on Halloween either! On the weekends, to the store, to school, and anywhere it’s allowed. I have no idea who anyone is at any time during the last week of October into November.

Somehow, that’s scarier than anything else.

4. Trick or Tricking

People are knocking on my door.

I deal with people every day. Once I’m home, leave me alone.

Nope. The doorbell rings and there are 50 small children holding out bags, decorated in who knows what as who knows what. But they expect you to know what they are, even though it looks like a shopping bag.

Gah. People.

5. Pranks

And if you don’t give them something good, your house is egged. Or covered in toilet paper.

Of you have teenagers yelling unkind things at you.

Who needs that when you’re trying to relax with your favorite scary movie? Yeesh!

6. Neighbors

Anyone else have the neighbors that go over board and make you look like you did something wrong with your lone pumpkin?

Inflatables, pumpkins, spooky music, skeletons, and so on. There may as well be a graveyard next door.

So when people come to your house they can tell you how much they wish you had done more. Excuse you, I don’t have the time and energy for this. Not everyone can be a vampire like my neighbor.

7. Parties

Neighbor on one side decorates every inch of their house.

The other throws a party until dawn, regardless of what the next day may bring.

Then there’s people asking what party you’re going to. What are you doing? What are you wearing?

Pajamas, in my bedroom. Go away.

8. Too Soon

It shows up, before it has any right to.

September hasn’t even hit yet most of the time and there’s pumpkins, bats, witches, and black and orange everywhere.

Like damn it, I’m still adjusting to summer ending. I am not ready for this yet!

9. 31st

Why does it always feel like a time jump after Halloween?

Like you’ve gone through some portal where everything was black and orange one day. Then the next you’re smacked with green and red and holiday sales and Christmas.

All while you’re trying to recover from your sugar coma and hangover from the day before.

I’m not ready, I need another two days of unwinding from Halloween before we start November.

10. Obsessed

People are obsessed with this holiday.

Do you know those people?

Like it doesn’t matter that Halloween comes early? In fact, they started counting down from November first of last year? Those people.

I need to prepare myself I deal with those people. Like a mental prep work before. They are too much sometimes.

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