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Valentine’s Day.

It’s a day to celebrate those we love. Since I’m sure there are people out there who are not enjoying the holiday stuffed with love and are just hating all the love happening around them here’s a list of my least favorite onscreen couples.

Misery loves company. Well, if you’re alone or going through a tough split there are plenty of other ways to enjoy this holiday. Like a list of terrible couples I’ve watched on TV or in movies.

10. Phoebe Halliwell and Cole Turner. 

A demon and a good witch. This relationship was doomed from the start. From the moment they met Cole was trying to kill Phoebe and her sisters. Even after they fell in love with each other, they had more obstacles, and roadblocks to their love. While Phoebe did have a good influence on Cole he tended far too often to slide back into his old ways. I don’t think anyone ever trusted him to really be good. After his resurrection he attempted several times to get Phoebe back by any means, including killing a man, and becoming a danger to her sisters. This was never a stable relationship. It always felt like it might go up in flames at any moment. In fact, it ended in flames. The best thing Cole ever did was help Phoebe to finally move on with her love life.

9. Lorelai Gilmore and Max Medina.

Lorelai and Max are a classic example of an unsustainable attraction. They like each other. They are attracted to each other body or mind. But the problem? There’s nothing more then the initial attraction. She liked his brains. He liked her quick wit and confident attitude. They – however – had little in common with each other. The botched proposal and wedding were proof of moving far too fast. Max knew he played no role in their lives beyond marrying Lorelai. She wanted to deal with Rory by herself, she gave no thought to how to have a partnership with him, and wasn’t excited at the thought of a wedding. They didn’t seem to watch the same movies or read the same books. Beyond a physical attraction their relationship amounted to very little. Not to mention Max was one of Lorelai’s most baffling relationships. He did not seem to understand her or her daughter or her life style. Thank goodness for the red light.

8. Lorelai Gilmore and Jason Stiles. 

This couple makes my list one higher then Max and Lorelai because Jason was honestly a better fit of the two. His sense of humor paired well with Lorelai’s. He steered clear of her parenting dilemas. And he got the world she tried so hard to run from and why she would choose to run from it, unlike Max whose parents seemed wonderful. On the flip side Jason never felt more then a casual boyfriend to me or anyone else. He didn’t spend time in Lorelai’s town, didn’t get to know her friends, her daughter, and her parents didn’t know they were together for months. Lorelai never made an effort to make him more permanant and when he tried by giving her a key the whole thing felt awkward and weird. These two were not right for each other at the end of the day. The whole relationship started with him harassing her into a date and her accepting because it would tick off her mother. Those are not great ways to start a relationship. On top of that it always felt like the relationship had a timer on it. We knew it would end eventually. It just didn’t end soon enough to me.

7. Kara Danvers and James Olsen. 

I think I might be stretching the idea of a couple since they only went on one date. However, since I was subjected to an entire season of googly eyes and spending a summer believing in season two I’d have to deal with them as a couple let me have this one. Kara’s ability to shoot herself in the foot is amazing considering how many times in season one she helped James and Lucy with their relationship. That’s not what put me off this couple though. I’m so tired of people making James out to be a saint. During season two many people complained about the sudden derailment of this couple for Mon-el. I cheered. Mostly, because I do not like this James Olsen. He spent season one stringing Kara along. Even Winn commented he could have Kara if he wanted while James was with Lucy. He kept feeding hope about them one day to Kara while maintaining a relationship with Lucy. Which was unfair to both of them. James in this version acts like he knows all since he’s best friends with Superman. Often puts Kara’s opinion down like she’s a child who doesn’t know better. Given the case with Lena Luthor in season two when he firmly denied Kara was even remotely right and wrote Lena off. [Side note: I think Lena Luthor deserves better then this James Olsen and I refuse to acknowledge them as a legit couple. Thank you very much.] I’m glad they got a quick write off because I could not take a long drawn out one. Not to mention the lack of chemistry between them. The lack of chemistry between James and everyone is just amazing.

6. Lois Lane and Lex Luthor. 

What was anyone thinking when they wrote this plotline into the story? Although, the best thing to come out of it was the episode where everyone was sprayed with a substance that made you shamelessly go after someone they were attracted to. Lois ignored Lex in favor of Clark Kent. That was pretty funny but it also begs the question why on Earth would she want to marry a man she doesn’t find attractive? She wouldn’t even sleep with him. She barely seemed to know anything about him. Wouldn’t believe he was evil until it was almost too late. On her wedding day she was calling herself Lois Lane-Kent. What was she thinking? What were the writers thinking? This relationship made no sense. For a smart woman Lois was pretty dense when it came to Lex Luthor in season one. After which she whole heartedly despised the man anyway. It was a weird relationship I cringe over time after time. My only wish was Lois had never made it to the altar.

5. Belle and Rumplestiltskin.

If you’re looking for a deeply unhealthy and abusive relationship look no further then these two right here. Rumple took Belle hostage, more then once I might add, turned her into a slave, and has lied repeatedly to her. One of which got her into bed with him which got her pregnant. He nearly got her killed when he locked her up for ‘own safety.’ He did not abide by any of her wishes, ever, when she asked not to see him. At one point, she even asked friends to keep her safe from him. On the flip side she returned to this monster who has murdered countless people in cold blood, many of which he doesn’t even remember doing, over and over again. Why? She thought she could change this monster. The problem? He didn’t want to change. He wanted to keep his power and his woman. A woman in which he would do anything to keep. Even forcibly pin her to his side by writing the world over. I know a lot of people adore this couple so please don’t give me hate. I’m just pointing facts from the show itself. This was far from a picture perfect fairytale story and I don’t care if they did end up together. I do not believe they should have. They are not good for each other.

4. Rory Gilmore and Logan Huntzberger. 

None of Rory’s relationships during the show’s original run were picture perfect. In fact, none of them were particular good for her in the end but I think they were good in their own way. On that note I disliked Logan’s with Rory overall because how far off the beaten path Rory let herself be taken. She stole, got a record, dropped out of Yale, and stopped speaking to her mother while she was with him. None of these things were something he discouraged. I like couples who make each other better but these two seemed to just weigh each other down. Logan weighed Rory down emotionally, academically, and drove walls between her and the people she loved without realizing it. Rory took Logan from his party scene. He liked to be free to have a good time with whoever, whenever. There’s nothing wrong with that but it’s not Rory. Just like Logan is not the sit home and watch movies type with her and her mother. They were not good for each other. But it did give Rory something she had been lacking I think she needed, adventure. Learn to live a little. Rory had always been so focused fun came second. I think Rory managed to learn a balance through her relationship with Logan with fun and her goals. I just don’t think she could put up with him long term marriage kind of relationship.

3. Emma Swan and Neal Cassidy. 

Emma Swan is one of my all time favorite TV characters. Neal Cassidy is one of my least favorite. I have always made no bones about disliking him. My mother introduced me to Once Upon A Time and from the moment he had some real screen time I did not like him. For the longest time I could not put my finger on what it was I didn’t like about him but I figured it out by talking with some friends who watch the show during season three. His inability to understand the ramifications his actions have. He did abandon Emma Swan. He can try to convince anyone he wants he didn’t have a choice but this show is all about choices. He left her so he wouldn’t have to see his father again. He promised when she fulfilled her destiny, he’d find her. He never went. He believed he had a right to Henry when he gave that right up. Take a close look at the law. Fathers don’t have the same rights mothers do. He had time to claim his son if Emma wanted to give Henry up but he didn’t because he left no way to contact him. He left Emma alone without no way to find him and by default his son. Emma didn’t walk into Henry’s life and try to take over, she earned the right to be his mom. Neal believed he had some claim to just start making choices for Henry when he doesn’t even know him. Also, I have never liked how much he down played what he did to Emma. Like being left by someone you love is no big deal in compared to what Neal suffered due to his father. His arrogant attitude towards Henry, letting him speak ill of his mother, talking down to her in front of Henry. And at one point literally laughing in her face about how hurt she was after he left. I recently say people arguing that just because you didn’t mean to hurt someone doesn’t disregard the fact that their feelings are hurt. So why are people so willing to root for a man who had a direct hand in those walls Emma had? Sorry, I was glad when Emma and he agreed they weren’t meant for each other. I was not sad to see him leave the show. Sorry.

2. Lana Lang and Clark Kent. 

All these two ever did was hurt each other over and over again. It literally ended because Lana was poisonous to him, just as they had been the entire show. If there was one thing I hated about Smallville, ask anyone who knows me, it was this relationship. This has been a long time complaint of mine about this show. These two went on far longer then it ever should have. Didn’t they get a clue when it didn’t work out the first three times they tried to have a relationship that finally both having powers wasn’t going to fix anything? Lois and Clark work because they’re equals regardless of powers. Lana always craved a closeness to Clark she attributed to needing to know his secret. Unfortunately, knowing the truth about Clark Kent didn’t bring them closer because that’s not the problem! They’re not right for each other. Clark Kent needs an equal, a partner, someone he can depend on, and trust no matter what. This was not always Lana, especially towards the end. In season seven she wanted to kill Lex or get revenge on him for everything he did to her. Clark is not that dark and would never approve. She lived with a stranger wearing his face for a month and didn’t notice. Despite knowing his secret she doesn’t know everything about him. She’s always seen what she wants to see. Clark still holds things back from her, never lets his guard down with her. The problem with this relationship was being in love with a fantasy. The girl next door. And the idea of finally being happy if he would just tell her the truth. And when it didn’t work out that way they kept trying to force it into place because all of that couldn’t be for nothing right? The truth was Clark was closer to Chloe and Pete then ever with Lana. This relationship took far too long to end. It just wasn’t written in the stars for them.

1. Lorelai Gilmore and Christopher Hayden. 

Timing was definitely this couple’s worst enemy. Seriously, go back and watch the show and see how the time is just never right for the two of them to make a go of it. First, they were too young to get married. Then, Christopher is never ready for the type of relationship he thinks he wants with Lorelai. He’s never grown up enough. When he finally does grow up, get a steady job, a car, and an apartment it’s with another woman. Then, things with this woman start to fall apart and it seems like everything is coming together for them his girlfriend gets pregnant. Time goes by, Christopher ends up single again but now Lorelai is with Luke. He tries to force a relationship anyway despite Luke and it backfires. Lorelai is finally single after two years with Luke but she hasn’t completely gotten over him when Christopher proposes and they get married. Even Chris himself mentions it when they decide it’s over that he pushed because he didn’t want something else to get in the way. This is some of the best writing I’ve ever seen for doomed couple because things like this happen in real life. Life gets in the way. For me this seems like life is telling both of these two they are not meant to be stop trying to force it into place. Unfortunately, they do not listen and get married anyway in what everyone knows to be a doomed relationship. This couple always grated on my nerves because Christopher was always labeled the good guy, the perfect fit for Lorelai when he is anything but. He wanted to get married but in the first season we learn he’s never been to his daughter’s home town. She’s 16. How is that possible? He missed her graduation. He missed years of her growing up, her getting sick, her life in general, and going to college. All events attended by her eventual step-father Luke Danes. Christopher doesn’t understand why Lorelai always says no to his proposal because he’s not ready, he’s not responsible, and he isn’t the settle down type yet. He doesn’t get her crazy town or friends. His sense of humor pairs well but he’s a weak man. He’s never there when she needs him. She’s not even surprised when he doesn’t show up for things. She has to call and beg him to show up for their daughter because his past record shows he never has. Even when she gets off the phone she says there’s 60% chance he’ll show despite his promise he wouldn’t miss it. What kind of guy does that? Her father ended in the hospital and she couldn’t get ahold him. When he finally decided to show he stayed an hour to ‘check in.’

This is my least favorite couple I have ever had the displeasure to watch on my screen because everyone knows except for maybe her parents Christopher is a bad match for her. He’s never there, he doesn’t follow through on what he says, and he’s not what Lorelai needs in her life. She needs stable. She needs dependable. To call when things are horrible and know someone with see her through.

Like Luke Danes showing up to help her even after they broke up just because she called him.

Whew, that was long. Sorry, some of these couples push my buttons. Especially the last three. Mostly, they push my buttons because people adore them together and I spend my time baffled, staring at the screen wondering if we’re watching the same show.

Any who. Those are my least favorite couples! If you want to chat or discuss or even add a couple you hate feel free to drop by! I love to chat!

Read on!