Amac Productions

Welcome to Listen To This!

If you’re new here, welcome! Every month, I’ll drop a new wild story from all my years working in retail! Names and other identifiers have been changed so everyone may remain anonymous. All terrible customers will be referred to as Karen or Daren (male.)

Stop the Emergency!

You know, I promise that we’ve all had bad days.

Moments when we’re in a rush and really can’t see the people or things around us. But I truly hope that I’ve never been in such a hurry to go anywhere that I demand the ambulance move out of my way so I could leave.

It was just another night at the General Nonsense.

Thankfully, I’m not the manager on duty at the moment. Which means the emergency in the cafe has nothing to do with me. Instead, I’ll be watching the floor.

Ensuring closing tasks are done, customers are satisfied, employees are good, and we can still go home on time despite the unfortunate interruptions taking place. Maybe that’s cold. But in this situation, we have a part to play. Mine was to keep the store running while the higher up manager dealt with the woman who fainted in the cafe.

I would be in the way. There’s no need for two of us. And someone still needed to keep the store running in the meantime.

Also, I was just relieved to not be handling the emergency that night. They are incredibly stressful and painstaking for so many reasons. It’s easier to play support role.

I can call 911.

I can get the woman some water. I can handle the issue at the register with a return. I can answer the employee questions.

I’m happy to be the supporting role rather than the starring role.

With that, I resumed the nightly duties. Taking on the role of the night manager instead of Emma who was dealing with the situation in the cafe. I answered calls. Helped customers. Took care of the money prep for the count at the end of the night. Directed the ambulance and paramedics when they arrived to the woman in the cafe who needed help.

And aside from a few curious customers who asked me if everything was alright and one customer who said she was nurse and offered to help. Which we took gratefully while we waited for the paramedics. Outside of those, the night ran rather smoothly.

Until, one gentleman walked up to me.

I say gentleman, but really he is anything but.

Now, in the past, and in this present moment, it happens that customers get curious and will ask us what’s going on. It happens. It’s part of human nature to be curious. And really, I never think much of it. I’ll answer as honestly as possible without revealing too much and promise that we’ve got it taken care of. Not to worry.

Everyone has always seemed pretty satisfied with that answer. Carrying on with their business.

Until that night.

I’m standing at the front of the store. I cannot begin to tell you why I was at the front of the store. Typically, I’m much further in the building unless we’re about to close. However, we still had around an hour to go before close.

I was probably cleaning up. Regardless, I’m at the front of the store when an older gentleman approached me.

By older I mean, he had white thinning hair. He still had a bit of spring in his step though. A bag in his hand like he had recently checked out of store.

I’d say that was odd. But sometimes people headed to the cafe to get something after purchasing a book. Or bring a return in the bag they purchased it in. Often, when they walk up to us carrying a bag like that, it’s a return.

Which is what I was expecting.

Did I get that?

NO!

Instead, he asks me why there’s an ambulance out front.

Well, we thought it looked nice there, sir. Just testing out some new decor.

Or maybe the paramedics had a reading emergency. They needed to stop right away to pick up a book to save someone’s life. Just looked like the place to park, I guess.

What do you mean?!

The lights are flashing! There’s two paramedics walking in and out along with the firefighter and the chief because apparently everyone is dispatched at the same time. I don’t know how that worked, but they were here. Lingering at the front of my store waiting for someone to give them the all clear to leave. Until then, they were just milling around the front of the store.

Regardless, I explain that we had an incident in the cafe with a customer and they required medical attention. Thus, the ambulance.

He gives a hmph sound.

Looks a bit grumpy.

Not sure why.

We stand there for another moment. I thought he might say something else. Instead, he simply stares at the ambulance out front, looking perturbed. I wait another moment.

Fuck, it’s just awkward.

Deciding to see if I can excuse myself from this odd situation, I stupidly ask if there’s anything he needs.

Really, I should have just walked away. I mean, I suppose there was nothing to stop him from following me and continuing this conversation. But! At least I could have said I tried to leave the situation.

No, instead, I dug myself deeper into this situation for the sake of trying to be nice and do my best customer service.

I should suck more at my job. Maybe that’ll help.

I ask.

He says, “How long do you think this is going to take?”

And he says it like I am personally holding him up.

I blink. Startled.

“I don’t know.” Because I don’t. Yes, they’ve been here a while. But I’m not a medical professional and I’m not going to start rushing one for any reason whatsoever. Nor am I going to ask. Just nope.

“Go find out.”

I’m sorry?

I blink again at him, thinking there was no way in hell that this man just gave me an order to find out how much longer this was going to take. Not that I thought anyone would truly have answer to that question.

Forgetting myself and the fact that I should be nice to Daren for the sake of my paycheck, I said, “No.”

For the first time in the exchange, he turned to look at me like how dare I refuse his order. Just as baffled I stared back. He glared at me.

“They’re blocking me in. I need to leave.”

“Okay.” I don’t care. I didn’t say it out loud, but I only very barely managed to keep that shit to myself. Barely. “It’s going to take as long as it takes.”

“I need to leave.”

“Someone needs medical attention!” I retorted.

What could you possibly need to do? What hurry are you in? Because you just stood here for two minutes staring angrily at the ambulance. It can’t be that important.

Do you need to rush home to watch a TV show? Will you be a little late for dinner? What horrible inconvenience are you having that trumps the woman having medical issues?

Because believe me, Daren, the only emergency that will get my attention is one that requires an ambulance as well. Otherwise, shut up.

Believe me, as someone who needed to have an ambulance come to her aide, this woman does not want to be in this situation either. This is not fun. We’re not doing this to bother you! It’s not about you!

So no, we will not stop having an emergency to cater to your car being blocked in.

“My car is blocked in. They should have parked somewhere else if this was going to take this long!”

I’m sorry. Where? There is no fire lane in front of the building. There are just parking spaces. Meaning, that they will pull up behind them during an emergency. They all do it for the line of businesses on this side of the plaza. They all have parking spots in front. Not to mention, there is nowhere else to park that close to the building that wouldn’t require blocking cars.

Or be too far from the person who needs them.

“It takes as long as it takes.” I answered. My voice cold and low.

For the first time in his little tirade, he stopped and realized that while he was talking to someone younger than himself, I did not intend to be pushed around. Nor did I care about his plight in anyway. Nor could he frighten or reason with me into getting what he wanted.

Then he flipped his script. Instead of talking to me like I’m child who isn’t understanding him, he went for a softer approach. Because apparently, he thought that would help.

“Listen, would you just please go ask them to move their ambulance down a few spaces so I can back out?” He smiles kindly at me, like in a grandfatherly way. As if that’s going to convince me.

My beloved grandfather would tell you to take your car and shove it where the ‘sun don’t shine’ for this entire conversation. Then give you four flat tires. Ask me if I’m joking. I dare you.

“No.” I answer plainly.

I did not care about much of anything in that moment. Nothing beyond I’m not letting Daren here make this woman feel worse than she already is. Emma had mentioned during one of my passes that the young girl had just discovered this medical issue and hasn’t fully gotten it down yet. She felt horrible for passing out in the middle of the store like it was something she choose to do.

So eff you Daren.

Realizing he wasn’t getting his way with me, he said the age old Karen/Daren demand. “Get me a manager.”

I smiled smugly. “I am the manager.”

His jaw twitched and he glared at me as he stomped off. He spent the next several minutes pacing the front of my store like a caged animal trying to escape. The cop got sick of him and asked him to knock it off before he exited the store, finally free to go.

At this point, the paramedics had the woman strapped to their gurney and were preparing to take her to the hospital.

Between the cop leaving and them coming to the door, Daren complained loudly to anyone in the nearby radius. My cashier. The customers checking out.

The best part was watching absolutely no one agree with him.

One lady asked him where the hell else should they park?

And I wished I had thought to ask him if would complain this much if he were the one who had fallen and someone else wanted them to stop the emergency because someone wanted to go home.

I had kept an eye on him, not wanting him to bother anyone too much. I was summoned to the front by my cashier who asked me to keep him away from them. He was starting to get on their nerves and he was afraid he’d say something he’d regret to Daren.

Politely, I asked that he stop bothering my customers and staff as people have been complaining.

I also had a customer say something after they entered the store that someone needed to deal with the guy exuding ‘main character energy’ up there. He huffed at me but knew he wasn’t going to get his way. Nor was I going to lose my temper. He wasn’t worth it.

Then he made the most boneheaded move he could have.

“I’m going to tell them to move myself.”

Apparently, after getting the woman into the ambulance and not leaving right away was just one step too much for this asshole. So he decided to just confront the paramedic who was standing at the end of the truck, holding the door, waiting to close it. The paramedic steps onto the back step of the truck to help with something.

I’m not sure what, because I have a bad angle. I can just see his head over the door as I follow Daren out onto the sidewalk.

“Do not bother them!” I’m shouting as I follow him. He doesn’t listen. Naturally.

The paramedic is completely absorbed with the task at hand as he should be when Daren yells at him to get his attention. “Hey! Hey!”

The paramedic pokes his head over the door, looking annoyed.

“Could you move it along? I need to get out! This is my car!” He gestures to the car beside him.

Without missing a beat, the paramedic says, “Fuck off.” Then carries on with what he’s doing.

Daren is too shocked to say anything right away. Completely frozen. I’m chuckling because I cannot help myself at this point. Also, I didn’t say it! Daren recovers in time as the paramedic slams the back doors and heads for the driver’s side. Muttering about entitled people and that this guy is a dick.

Daren sputters for something to say.

Paramedic dude, my new hero, tells him to ‘fuck off,’ once more before getting in.

Daren shocked that someone would dare to speak to him that way, turns. Either he was planning to give me a piece of his mind about the paramedic or the situation as he came back inside the store. However, I stopped him. Stepping between him and the doorway.

“Perhaps you should wait in your car.” I said it full of fake sympathy. “Then you’ll be able to leave faster.”

It’s worded like a suggestion, but I was not suggesting anything. Apparently, Daren understood this and grumbly got into his car. Washing my hands of this situation, I returned to the building, and immediately told everyone about Daren and the paramedic.

I don’t know your name Mr. Paramedic, but you’ve got a lot of fans here at the General Nonsense for saying what we were all thinking!

Thanks for reading! Until next month!

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