Amac Productions

Welcome to Listen To This!

If you’re new here, welcome! Every month, I’ll drop a new wild story from all my years working in retail! Names and other identifiers have been changed so everyone may remain anonymous. All terrible customers will be referred to as Karen or Daren (male.)

Distract Manager Worries for Tiles, Not People

For those who are worried, we’re straying too far from the General Nonsense, fear not! We have returned this month to the store, just in time for an unpleasant visit.

Today, ah, today’s story actually starts yesterday. Yes, in the past.

I was off yesterday. A nice day off. To say I get a lot of calls about work on my days off would be an outright lie! I’m never called on my days off. My boss – Julia – would do anything other than text or call people on their days off. She won’t even bother us when we’re on lunch or break.

She’s lovely.

So you know when she contacts you on a day off, things are going to be… interesting.

I get a lovely little text from my boss telling me that the rainstorm that has blown through over the last couple of days has done a number on our ceiling. One of the tiles in newsstand is bulging with water. She left a message for the center our building is located in, as this falls under – not our problem to fix.

We rent the building sooooo landlord!

However, it was too late for them to do anything so there’s a chance they’ll be in tomorrow morning before she gets there in the afternoon and to handle it.

Sure. No problem.

She’s not even sure they’re coming in the morning.

Okay.

She left a message.

Got it, boss.

But I’ve taped off the area, and no one is allowed to be under the terrifying ceiling tile of doom filled with water and destruction and possibly death.

Yes, Julia. I see. That would be bad. I agree. Keep the area free of people. Right.

I feel like this should be pretty simple. Wait for a response to her message and answer accordingly while keeping the area free of people so that no one dies via tile to head.

That’s the end of the conversation yesterday.

Bringing me to today!

I arrive after our opener who was there yesterday and knows about the tile. I take a look at it for myself and holy freaking cow that looks ready to drop at any moment. Julia’s got the area taped off in a ten-by-ten-foot square to ensure no one can be hit by falling debris.

Now, you know the type of tile I’m talking about. A drop ceiling tile. It’s like four feet long and a foot and a half wide. It’s filled with water and barely holding on by a thread. We have caution tape everywhere with signs telling people to keep out. This also closes off part of our newsstand, because it’s just not safe.

Alright, my opener Sabrina informs me that no one has made contact yet from the main office of the shopping center.

I shrug, not really having expected an answer. We’re one of the first stores to open and one of the last to close. Typically, it takes their office a bit to catch up. I was certain we’d hear from them later.

Informing Sabrina that Julia already filled me in so I wouldn’t freak out upon coming into work, I just tell her we’ll keep customers and staff clear. If we don’t hear from them by noon, I’ll call and email them again.

Right? No problem.

But you know? You’d think, I’d know better by now.

I really should.

Because in the meantime, while I’m waiting for a response from the shopping center on when the maintenance team can come handle this, I’m shooing customers out of the taped off area!

Yes! The area you must limbo to get into with bright white signs and red writing that say keep out with the caution tape like it’s a freaking murder scene were just not enough to clue you in that you should not be here!

The number of times I went over there to inform someone they needed to get out of the taped area right now. The one with the signs you moved out of the way and the wet floor sign, yeah that one? It’s not freaking safe! Look up! See that! It might come down on both of our heads right now because you’re dumb. Let’s go.

“But I want the magazine.”

Well, Daren I don’t want to die, and I don’t want you to die either, though you appear to have a death wish over a six-dollar magazine. Regardless, step out here and forget your magazine.

“I want the magazine.”

Why? Is it more important than your life? Your health?

I’d ask about my health, but considering what’s happening I know you don’t care about what happens to me. I doubt you even think I’m a human being.

I bet it’s like when your teacher tells you they did something over the weekend while you were elementary school and you’re like, ‘you leave this place? You don’t just live in the classroom all the time?’

I think I had the same conversation with ten separate morons made me wonder what these people were doing in a bookstore in the first place. Clearly – you don’t read! Otherwise, you might have noticed the array of signs and things we have placed here suggesting you forget the magazine and keep your life instead.

Or did you think these were for decor? We’re trying some new interior design for the place.

I know you didn’t think it was for Halloween. We’ve still got a few months for that one!

Seriously, what is going through these people’s brains?

To combat the pandemic of stupid spreading like a tidal wave through the store, I send Jim up with the freshly arrived boxes of magazines. After all, this is his section, he is not a moron, and the magazines do need to get put away with someone constantly keeping an eye on the taped off area.

I give Jim strict instructions that he’s not to put himself in harm’s way. To work outside the area where he feels comfortable and keep an eye on the customers because I’m tired of shooing them away.

Jim asks what he should do if the customer requests he grab a magazine from the area and I tell him the same thing I told the other customers. It’s not worth the risk. Try again tomorrow. I apologize for the inconvenience, but my manager has given me strict instructions not to allow anyone under the damaged tiles.

I inform him that if they have a problem with that or someone gives him pushback, call me and I’ll handle it. As I am the manager in charge currently.

While I told my customers the same thing, when they asked to speak with a manager – I informed them I was the highest manager in the building and they could call back later to speak with Julia if they felt so inclined, but this is a safety matter – I’m not budging for a magazine.

Typically, that made them reconsider their stance on being an ass or they just left.

I was fine either way.

With Jim keeping customers away and keeping himself as safe as possible in the area, I planned to call the shopping center back to get an update, but I was distracted by a sudden wave of customers. As we were handling the sudden rush of people, the phone rang, and Sabrina took the call.

She summoned me. After I was able to break away, I found her up front, and she informed me that they had called back and needed some information from the manager. Taking the phone, I went over exactly what was wrong and that I’d like it resolved quickly because we customers ignoring the signs and going under the damaged tile.

Which – Jim informed me as I was on the phone – was starting to make odd noises.

I also noted that I had an employee in the area keeping people away and I’m not totally comfortable with that either. While I trust Jim to keep himself safe and follow my instructions, I don’t like that he’s anywhere near the waterlogged tile.

Our very chill maintenance workers for the shopping center agreed and asked if they could come right now. I agreed as long as they could handle it in one go because we’re not allowed to have a gaping hole in the ceiling all day.

They said they had the tile and just wanted to know if they needed to cut it, they did not. Just a full-size tile.

And permission from the manager to come and do the work with their scissor lift.

I agreed, permission granted. Please come fix the problem as soon as possible so I can stop worrying about Jim and the idiot customers who have no survival instinct. They agreed and said they would be there as fast as the scissor lift could move. Which it had to come from the front of the shops to the back, so I thought it would be about a half an hour before they arrived.

With that settled, I informed Sabrina that they would be hear shortly and if I’m unable to meet them at the door, I wanted her to do it to clear a path for the lift.

Then I informed Jim they were coming shortly to fix the ceiling and would have a lift so please just ensure there’s a clear path for them. He agreed and I let my staff know as well that maintenance workers were coming and to grab me or Sabrina if they arrive.

With that settled, I resumed my work.

Eventually, I remembered I needed to head back to the office to answer emails. I let Sabrina know and with Jim handling the customers under the tile, I wasn’t so worried I couldn’t step off the floor to answer the emails that had piled up since yesterday.

Now, I’m not sure how long I was in the office, it couldn’t have been more than five minutes when suddenly an odd tension fills the air.

Now, you might think I’m exaggerating this. But I swear, there was a freaking chill in the air. I could feel it through my headset from the staff on the floor. However, before I could really examine the thought, the very reason for it blows into the office – Brenda, our district manager.

Long sigh.

Brenda is well… She could be a Karen.

None of us like her. This story is a fantastic example of why.

She comes into the office, dumping her stuff across my bosses’ desk without a word. Sits down, makes herself comfortable, and starts rearranging the place. Now, all the managers share one of the two desks in there, but the other is completely Julia’s. Her pictures, her files, her pens, and so on.

Brenda practically shoves it all to the side.

Doesn’t even acknowledge my existence as I continue on with the emails. But the hair on the back of my neck is standing up because there is no doing anything right in this woman’s eyes. Everything is wrong and she likes no one.

I’m pretty content if she doesn’t talk to me, but I do think a hello is nice.

Which I try. She says nothing.

With that, despite the no phone policy, I slip out my cell and text Julia to warn her that Brenda has landed so she’s not blindsided when she comes in. Because she will be. It’s one of her favorite tactics to use on Julia. To jump out like Chuckie or something and declare the store is all wrong and she sucks before she takes two steps in the door.

I get a return text to my absolute humor that 15 other staff members have also texted Julia to warn her that Brenda is in the building because we’re all looking out for Julia. Julia is the best and she treats everyone well and with respect, so she gets it tenfold. Especially, when we know Brenda likes to treat her like sh*t for no reason – we’ve got her back.

Amused, I return to my emails.

I also loved that Julia didn’t knock a single one of us for texting her while we were working. Like nah, text me to show me you’ve got my back, anytime.

I’m about to answer the last two emails when Brenda starts throwing a hissy fit behind me.

This is not new, so I’m barely listening until I hear her screech, “Who let a scissor lift into the building? What is she doing?”

I turned abruptly because where she’s sitting, she’s got all the store cameras on the monitor in front of her and she’s pulling up the one for the front door. Which is where three maintenance workers are bringing in the scissor lift while Jim and Sabrina are holding the door open, directing them. The ‘she’ is Sabrina who is clearly in charge of the moment and directing the situation.

Enraged, Brenda appears to be working herself up to yelling at someone but before she can, I answered her question.

“I did.” Now, you don’t know me, but I’m not the type of person who you should cross. Especially, when I know I’m right.

Brenda stops cold, like no one had ever dared to speak to her in that tone that suggests she’s being unreasonable. Spins in the chair to face me, glaring, and gives me the most BS response I’ve ever heard when I tell her that we have a tile filled with water that might fall, and we’re having it handled.

She goes into a tirade!

“That’s something you should have done when you’re closed! Not while you’re open and people could be run over by a scissor lift!”

Um, excuse me. Have you ever seen a scissor lift move? We’re having this conversation and the thing is barely in the front door it moves so damn slowly. Also, I have a fully competent human being in charge of the situation who alerts me that they’re here and she’s got it taken care since I’m in the back.

So regardless of the death wishes of some customers, Sabrina will not allow them to be run over.

Not to mention, there’s three maintenance guys also clearly people out of the way because you know, most people aren’t really interested in committing murder. Just saying.

Also, those things just stop.

Like once you’re not pushing the pedal for it to go, it just stops. Like right there. It would be really hard to run someone over.

You’d have to be actively trying to kill them. And again, most people don’t really want to murder people. And they definitely don’t want to do it in the middle of the morning of a brightly lit store with cameras and witnesses with the stupidest and slowest of murder weapons.

Next, we should do this while we closed? What?

We’ve had bigger scissor lifts in here to paint the walls, change the lights, replace tiles, and other things – all while we’re open.

We once moved the entire floorplan around while the building was open. I think we can handle doing things while we’re open. We’re adults. Don’t worry.

I offer up an explanation akin to this without calling her a moron. And she follows with more stupid.

“They could break a floor tile!”

I’m sorry?

A f*cking floor tile? Who gives a flying f*ck about the floor tile cracking?

“Then we’d have to pay for the floor tile to be fixed and someone could get hurt!”

Oh my goodness, they ‘might’ trip on a floor tile but the thought of a huge ceiling tile falling and hitting someone on the head because they’re willfully ignoring the signage doesn’t bother you?

Also, you didn’t say the part about them being hurt first, no Brenda, you mentioned money. Then threw the other part in there like that somehow makes it better.

“You should not allow them in here, they could damage something with the scissor lift.” There’s that word again, ‘damage.’ And not someone, some thing.

“We’ve had multiple lifts in here before and never had a problem.” I counter.

Ignoring me, she carries on. “Go out there and put some cardboard boxes down on the floor tiles so they don’t break them.”

For a moment, I thought she was joking. Then I realized she was completely serious. “What are boxes going to do?”

“Spread the weight of the lift!” She said it like I was somehow the moron here.

“The belt already does that. And it’s cardboard, not metal or some magical fix, it won’t up against the weight of a two-ton machine.”

“They could break a tile!”

“Someone could get hurt!” I angrily replied. “There’s a loose ceiling tile, filled with who knows how much water, making odd sounds, with customers refusing to stay out from under it. I’m not risking their safety or my staff’s because we’re open or the lift could damage the floor tiles.”

“They could break a floor tile, they’re not cheap.”

Seriously annoyed with this woman, I declare my final peace before exiting the room completely before I hit her or say something that would make me lose my job. “It’s a safety issue!”

I left and met up with Sabrina who rightly clocked that I was annoyed, and I explained and she like me was baffled that Brenda is somehow more concerned for the floor tile than safety. Out of morbid curiosity I asked our lovely maintenance workers if they’ve ever managed to crack a floor tile with the lift.

All three said no.

I asked what would happen if they did, because they’d be damaging the building we’re renting. I assume, like the damaged ceiling tiles that we did not do, it was weather related, they would be obligated to fix it. Which they agreed.

If they do any damage while they’re here, they will have to fix it or pay to replace it. Simple as that.

Which means the money she’s so terrifyingly worried about wouldn’t come out of our pockets because we didn’t do the damage.

They ask me what’s up.

I know these guys. They shovel our walks. They’ve replaced tiles before. They’re around a lot. They do the upkeep of the place and it’s a very nice shopping center. They’re good guys.

I explain what our distract manager said and they ask if that’s the one Julia can’t stand. Confirming that, they promise to move swiftly and get out before she can complain anymore. I thank them and all is well.

Tile drained, replaced, and they inform me they’ll be inspecting the roof when they have a chance in the next week or so before we get more rain to find the source of the leak and fix it. I promise to let the other managers know to expect them back so we can let them into our backroom for roof access. With that, the days resumes normally.

I return to the office to finish my emails, and Brenda is no longer speaking to me, which is fine. Though I can tell, she’s not thrilled with me. Regardless of her mood, I carry on with my day.

You probably think the story is over, huh? Nope.

Hours later, because all of that occurred in the morning before 11 even struck and my boss Julia arrived at 1 for her shift. I’m working at the front refilling the hardcover books and see her come in. I wave and say hello. She stops, says hi, and I inform her the ceiling was handled. All is well.

Julia is happy and heads to the back to drop off her stuff and punch in.

All the while, I’m out here shelving my little heart out, unbeknownst to me that Brenda is screaming at Julia in the backroom the very moment she arrives. Now, to be perfectly honest, I have no idea what happened in that backroom. I know it was bad because Julia came out to me vibrating with rage less than ten minutes later.

Rage is also not an emotion she does, so it was seriously weird to see.

Besides that, I know there was shouting because Brenda 2.0 heard them. Entirely different person, unfortunate same name. I use 2.0 because she’s the improved model. They worked the Karen out.

Julia comes to me, vibrating and asks me to explain the morning to her. So I do. I go over everything including the argument I had with Brenda.

My boss asks if I pushed back on Brenda.

To which, I answer ‘sort of.’ Because at a certain point, I realized there was nothing I could say to make her hear me about the safety issue and I just gave up talking to her. It was like talking to a wall. But I clearly stated that I would not apologize for putting the safety of the customers and the staff above the safety of a f*cking tile or stuff or the time of day or whether or not we’re open or any other stupid reason she gave.

There was a potential for someone to be hurt, and I put that above all else. If you want to be mad at me, go ahead, but I’m not apologizing for it.

Julia agreed with me.

Bet you thought she was mad at me? Right?

Nah, Julia was pis*ed that she walked in, and Brenda jumped down her throat calling me insubordinate because I didn’t put down cardboard or ask them to leave or do anything she said to do. All Julia wanted was my side of the story and Sabrina and Jim’s since they were all involved with this tile problem so she could better stand her ground against Brenda who didn’t want her to have the facts. Just make her feel bad like her employees and the people she leaves in charge in her absence are horrible.

Julia grabbed Sabrina while we were there and asked for her side as well. Sabrina was certain I did the right thing and won’t apologize for not siding with Brenda. The tile, the danger was paramount. Everything else could wait.

Fully armed in the knowledge that her employees were looking out for the store’s best interests as well as doing as requested to see the tile was resolved if it could be before she arrived at work, Julia returned to the office to speak with Brenda again.

Again, I’m not sure what happened behind closed doors, but Julia was pretty proud of herself afterward, and Brenda was moping, then left as quickly as she arrived. Much to everyone’s relief. Julia muttered about it for the rest of the day wondering what on Earth she thought cardboard would do and who worries about money more than safety? Have you lost your mind?

See, this is why everyone loves you, Julia!

Well, I hope you enjoyed this long tale from the General Nonsense! See you next month!

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