Amac Productions

Well, that was an episode.

I was almost like, is this Station 19? Because the scenes between Maya and Mason were… good?

I’m watching it and thinking to myself that this isn’t right. No. It can’t be Station 19, writing a thoughtful, and well done narrative and character arc for both Maya and Mason. This can’t be right. Do I have the right channel? The right world? Did I step into The Twilight Zone or the Multiverse?

What’s happening?

Then the Beckett scene happened and the ending.

I almost breathed a sigh of relief. Like my goodness, I thought the show found decent writing at the end of the series and I was like no! But then they went and effed it all up at the end.

Then I was all, yep, this is my disaster fire show that I know and for some reason continue to watch despite the disappointment because I an effing sucker for Marina.

I know everyone is upset and disappointed and you should be. Because it’s wrong. It’s completely wrong.

All I have to say is shame on the people making those choices. Choosing to show the lack of respect and care for Marina. The utter disrespect between them and every other couple on the show. It’s shameful and terrible.

So shame on you for patting yourself on the back for representation without representing anything.

That being said, I’m not surprised.

I was almost surprised I nearly made it to the end of the episode before I was disappointed. That was the surprise for me.

Them screwing it up? Not surprising.

It’s what they’re best at.

Onto the good now!

Maya helping Carina in the morning getting ready for her lawsuit was absolutely wonderful. I love that they have been working together on this. That Maya made flip cards and Carina is using them and taking it so wonderfully seriously how her wife is trying to help her.

I love that they went through the house so we could catch a glimpse of the interior. I still hate the kitchen.

But hey, just another example of how the writers and showrunners don’t get their own characters!

Moving on.

I loved the look on Liam’s face as Carina set him down in the seat. Like no, keep holding me. Only cemented by his crying face moments later, then immediately settling as Carina picked him up again. Like same little dude, I’d be content too if she was holding me.

Just saying.

I also loved Carina’s face when Maya started crying.

She rushed to her side so sweetly and tried to calm her down only for their son to start crying and for her to be conflicted – who do I comfort first? Ah!

Loved that moment.

Loved how Carina collects her son and tries to get them both to breathe in order to calm down.

This moment is the utmost epitome of what Maya was talking about later on in the episode.

She found family.

A real love.

Comfort and care.

Someone who would drop everything to be there for her. Someone to love her when things look the darkest. Someone who would 5150 her for her own good.

Someone who loves her.

Beyond anything.

Someone to build a life.

A partner through everything.

Carina just held her wife together. She joked and smiled and reminded her to breathe. They shared the responsibility of the morning. Taking care of their son while trying to keep track of where they were in order to have another. While juggling work, family struggles, and being sued.

They were the calm in each other’s storm.

Carina brought her comfort food. Something she was never allowed as a child.

She gave her a hug. She wiped her tears away. She was there after everything went horribly wrong.

And she should have been there in the bathroom. Or Vic. Or Andy.

Or anyone but Jack or Beckett.

Like no.

Though I agree with Beckett’s statement – Maya is a good mother.

She worries about screwing up their children. She worries about doing things right. She’s researched how best to care for her son.

She rejected her brother for the sake of her wife and child(ren.)

Someone she wanted to invite to her wedding. A person outside her wife she has only ever said she loved. Something she used to win Carina over. Her brother. A person she wanted to fix things with so badly.

But she couldn’t.

He’s filled with hate and horrible ideas.

He’s everything she can’t bring into her house.

I loved her line about not willing to risk the love of her family for him.

She was willing to put herself out there to him. To try. To open up and hope for the best.

But unlike last season when things crashed around her, she didn’t lose herself.

Her phone went off and she returned to the station to put her family first. Sure, it was hard. And it felt like someone died, because something did die.

Her relationship to her brother.

She said goodbye.

Mason would probably see it as Maya selfishly putting herself first, when it’s anything but.

She’s putting her wife. Her children. Their future. And the future of those around them first.

She won’t let hate rule their world.

It was hard and terrible and awful. But she didn’t self-destruct. She carried on for her family. She did the shot and went home to her wife worrying about doing it right so as to not lot their family down.

Her wife was there.

She knew what was going on.

She brought her a treat and laughed and joked with her wife. They kissed and probably had sex in the kitchen. Maya didn’t close herself off.

She opened up to her wife. Showed her the most terrifying parts of herself and knew she’d still be loved because she has a real family now.

Maya wanted that for her brother. But he didn’t want healthy relationships for himself and ultimately, Maya had to put her health and family’s wellness over her relationship to her brother.

Thus, she mourns the loss.

Also, I mourn the loss of Andrew even more now, thank you, you jerks.

Like, seriously? Poor Liam has no wonderful uncles and both Maya and Carina suffer without their brothers. How cruel.

I am conflicted because I love the storyline with Mason. How lost he has become.

He didn’t want to be like his father, but he ended up worse. And while Maya could have ended up the same way, she found other paths. No drugs. No cult like people brainwashing her. She found true happiness and wanted to share it.

But she knew, her brother would never allow her peace.

That moment… When Mason demanded she call Carina.

It hurt. Because I knew Maya couldn’t do it, not because of what Mason thought, but because she was realizing how lost he was.

That he didn’t want to be saved and he would warp everything. Especially their young son who needs his mothers’ protection.

She saw him as he was. Not as what she wished him to be.

And ironically – I think Mason found versions of his father to live with. After all, he was afraid when the carpet got ruined. In my house, that’s not cause for freaking out.

He’s still being abused. Used. He just doesn’t know it.

But people like Mason truly exist. Lost and thinking their delusions are right. That their way is the only way.

Maya wants to exist.

Mason wants her erased from the planet. No living. Only conforming.

Big difference.

And he won’t hear any other sides.

It hurt. It really did. I felt every blow Maya felt, like a physical punch.

I did think there were moments when she got through to him, just for a second. Like when she said he mattered to her. Or that she thought he was talented. Brief flashes of the Mason he could have been.

But he’s not.

And the worst part?

He stills doesn’t get it. Maya walking away from him is something he’ll use to justify to himself that he was right about her. She only cares about herself. He’ll walk away feeling smug and righteous about the whole thing.

He won’t be torn up like Maya.

Because he thinks she’s wrong. Plain and simple.

Terrible.

I could probably discuss this and all the facets forever.

But let’s switch gears to the other compelling tale happening.

Carina’s case.

I loved how upset and irritated Carina was throughout the entire process.

To be brought here and questioned over choices by some doctor they dug up who wasn’t there. By a lawyer who has no idea what he’s talking about.

Like, yes, nature causes bad things to happen. For as much as healthcare is a science, it’s also a guessing game because no two people are exactly the same. Things go wrong beyond anyone’s control.

It freaking happens dude!

I love that Carina was annoyed. Because where did you get your medical degree?

You happened to see a blue baby around the corner? Was she still blue when Carina handed the baby to you or was she breathing? Was she alive?

She got the baby out because she was suffocating, and she handed her to you with a smile because she was alive and breathing. That was cause for celebration lady!

I loved that Carina didn’t give into the woman either.

She stood her ground. She did nothing wrong. She didn’t mess up or cause the issue with her baby and there is literally nothing she could have done differently to prevent what happened. She literally did everything she could to give her the best care.

The nerve of the woman to pin it on Carina that it’s her fault if her daughter loses.

I love that we sort of got two sides here.

Because the woman was dealt a shitty hand and so was her daughter. It’s true.

But Carina didn’t cause it and her reputation and career shouldn’t take a hit because you want someone to blame for something beyond the world’s control.

Like no.

I loved that Carina was still annoyed about winning and losing.

Because that’s not what healthcare should be about. You want help? Carina was there to be asked. She was willing and still is willing to help you.

The look on the lady’s face when Carina handed her the note though. How dare you be a better person than me?

Because she is.

Carina chose her profession to help women. To help them have babies and bring life into the world. Every patient she cares about.

She never lost a mother until the pandemic because they were skipping appointments.

She’s excellent at her job.

She’s kind and thoughtful and listens to the people she cares for. She is human and not perfect, but I doubted from the moment this happened that Carina would ever be so lax as to let a baby or mother suffer.

When she lost moms, it’s a physical hit to her. She’s angry and sad because that’s not something she wants.

She’s there to help them.

And I went and watched the scenes from Grey’s. Carina stepped in to help Jo save a woman’s life. And Jo was so distraught over the fact that she could have missed something and been the reason that this woman will be suffering.

Because she knows better.

She was taught better.

Carina taught her better.

And Carina stepped in, calm, rational, and cool. Ready to do whatever she needed to do to keep the woman alive.

It’s impossible to think that woman missed something and led to a lifelong issue for that baby.

Not while you have Jo and even Bailey startled by the chaos. Especially Jo. Who was clearly upset by what happened. Afraid she missed something, and this patient has a horribly long road ahead of her.

Carina is not someone who makes choices lightly.

She did everything she could. I love that she stood her ground and kept her cool.

But mostly, I loved the look on her face when she looked the woman dead in the face and said, “Nothing.”

The shock that rippled through that woman.

Because the utmost confidence in what you did that day is unmatched. To claim that there was nothing else to be done. It was the best care this woman could have ever received.

What do you say to that?

Nothing.

Like damn Carina.

So those are my thoughts! Let me know what you think!

Thanks for reading!

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