Amac Productions

What was that opening? What? I’m not sure I even followed the rest of the episode!

I think I saw Karl Urban in there somewhere.

A child.

Gabrielle mentioned that Xena was beautiful.

I’m sorry. What did I just witness???

……

Sorry, I just had to reboot my brain.

This premiered in the 90s?

I mean, I thought the moment in 1×03 was pretty overt with the whole ‘like your breasts aren’t dangerous enough.’

But um, this was something else entirely.

Aside from gay as f*ck, how else do you interpret that scene in the lake?

Like how many backflips do you need to do to somehow make that straight? Like I watched it a second time. I played that scene over because I thought I was dreaming there for a minute.

Nothing about this, screams two straight friends fishing here.

Now, I’m going to say something here, don’t get mad.

Everything when it comes to making things up, books, film, TV, is a choice.

I’ve said it over and over again throughout my years. Nothing happens by accident on TV, not really. Even if the actor goes off script or something happens, they choose to leave it there for the audience to see. Therefore, making it canon.

Essentially what I’m saying is, they choose to make this scene happen like this!

They choose not to give them fishing poles!

They choose to have that panning shot of all their clothes spilled across the tree like any sex scene opening EVER!

They choose for them to be naked in the water together!

They choose to let Lucy Lawless grin like that when Gabrielle ducked below the water!

Someone wrote and left in the line, ‘you’ve been wanting to do this forever.’

Fish naked?

That’s literally never a desire of mine.

Go skinny dipping with a crush or someone I’m into or dating? Yeah. That’s on the damn list.

But this? This entire scene was a choice of several people. And there’s no way in hell you can talk me into thinking this is normal behavior.

I don’t care about the time period or the setting or anything. The only logical explanation is something gay. That’s it.

There’s no debate.

Nope.

Like just look at the grin on Xena’s face when Gabrielle dives below the water. Who grins like that while teaching their friend anything?

Like go watch Arrow and Flash’s first crossover when Oliver is teaching Barry to case the area before he runs into danger. These are two friends. Oliver shoots Barry in the back and he doesn’t grin like that! Later Barry returns the favor and he doesn’t grin like that. That’s two friends teaching each other something and playing around together. There are no smiles like that.

Nope. Not one.

Jeez.

Then we have the shot of Xena coming out of the water declaring it’s not polite to stare.

Well, shit. Don’t do things like that if you don’t want anyone but Gabrielle to look.

Damn.

What else even happened in this episode? I was so distracted.

I remember going that’s the guy from Red when I saw Karl Urban. He plays a remarkable bad guy.

Oh, right. Gabrielle got high.

And declared that Xena is soooooooooooo beautiful.

Yeah, that’s not gay. Especially when coupled with the beginning.

No, not at all. (Insert all the sarcasm here, please.)

These writers sure knew what they were doing while stretching the limits of what could be on TV.

Also, I’m going to confess I’m a little worried.

This is only season one!

Like what are they going to do to me next? Are they going to hold hands? Manage to tell each other they love each other?

I do know from spoilers that there is at least one kiss.

How the hell did they cram that in there?

Also, I’m freaking out over this scene. What will happen to me then? AH!

Especially since I don’t even care what happened in the rest of the episode. I really don’t.

It doesn’t matter that Karl Urban was excellent as the villain. I loved the idea about the ‘one God’ and what faith really means.

The father’s assertion that he teaches his children nothing about faith, if he only holds it when it’s easy. While I am not religious by any means, I think that was a powerful line.

Even if I’m with Xena 100% here.

No god is a good god if they demand a human sacrifice.

Then the confusion at the end because Gabrielle didn’t get to the megaphone thing. So who was talking???

That’s worrying. Or something.

Who cares?

They were naked in the water together!

That’s my takeaway from this episode and I look forward to how these writers will navigate the rules while also continuing to make this gayest show ever.

Because it is. It’s gayer than things on TV right now.

Like Station 19. We almost never get anything other than tank top clad sex scenes and these two are just naked in a lake somewhere.

Damn.

We went backwards. Gah.

On that depressing thought, I’m going to wallow… or maybe just watch the next episode.

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