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Xena goes crazy in this episode.

I feel like I could just end the review there because it pretty much sums it all up. Xena even admits in the episode that her mind has lost its center (Gabrielle) and now she’s just freaking drifting.

Losing it.

All sense of reality.

Not even losing it. I think she actively threw it away.

The episode starts with Xena frantically searching for Gabrielle. She confronts Hades since he owes her a favor, but he has no idea where Gabrielle is. Not all the world’s dead come to him.

Except Gabrielle is Greek. She should have gone to him. Except… She’s an Amazon as well.

They do not come to Hades.

Which, I did not know that was a thing.

Okay. That means we’re off to find Gabrielle in the Amazon afterlife though Hades is no help since he doesn’t know where that is. But Xena does, because of her dark past. So we’re off to lose her mind and see through flashbacks how she learned about this in the first place.

Quick note though, I do love that Hades was really chill about the whole thing.

Like I’m very sorry your friend died, but I literally do not have her soul. If on the other hand, you’d like to see Solan, I can do that for you. Which was like oddly sweet.

My girlfriend pointed out that this was Hades just trying to get rid of his debt to Xena. But I really loved the idea that he was trying to help her out as well. Because he offered that before he realized that she was looking for Gabrielle.

Like, hey, you’re here. You probably want to see your son. I can do that.

Oh. I don’t know where Gabrielle is. She did not come to me. Then answers Xena’s questions and they both move on. As always, I stand by the idea that Hades is the least awful of the Greek gods. Not that he doesn’t have his moments, but overall, you know, not that bad.

Fully ready to pay in his debt to Xena and understands that he owes her. Even offers up something she might really want. Not just something to get rid of the debt. Something that would be nice for her. I don’t know. It didn’t feel as gross as some of the other gods have. Cough – Ares – cough.

Anyway, we move onto Xena losing her mind. A bunch of… Amazons? I think watching her and taking her body somewhere else. One of them wants to kill her but one does not even though Xena held a knife over her as a little girl.

But Boris – Borias – Solan’s dad stopped her.

However, this woman believes Xena wouldn’t have gone through with it.

And I agree.

Also I do not like f*cking Aldi.

She’s creepy and weird and makes too much eye contact. I’m not sure what the deal was with her protege either. But it made me super uncomfortable. And I don’t like it. I don’t like her. She’s got to go. Nope. No.

There’s also like an entire backstory missing between Xena and the young girl, Anakin. Aldi’s protege. Um… Feels like there’s a story there we couldn’t share in the 90s.

Anyone got some theories? I’d love to hear them!

Besides the creepiness of Aldi in the flashbacks, we get the creepiness of Xena in the flashbacks as well. As she and Borias basically hate each other most of the time. This is post Chin as well. They can’t seem to get their shit together in any meaningful way.

Which also leads me to believe that Xena doesn’t, nor did she ever really love Borias. He was simply a means to an end and then he ended up becoming important because of Solan. Because of the end. The centaurs. Her decision to give Solan up.

One Aldi even alludes to here by saying that neither of them will name the child.

I have to confess the more I see of Borias and Xena’s relationship, the less compelled by it I am.

Borias is in love with her, but she couldn’t really seem to give a damn about him. I think she’d trade him away for a chicken nugget. After his confession in this episode about loving her, he seems only interested in her because of the baby. Especially as she slips further and further away from him.

Her interest in Aldi and Anakin and power growing. With little interest in Borias or their baby.

Which I think Xena would just like to ignore as much as possible because I think she knows the baby could turn her into a big softy and she doesn’t want that. She’s too consumed right now.

It’s a very effed up relationship and it’s very unappealing. I just do not get it. And it’s not the show’s fault. It’s just not what I pictured Solan’s dad to be like. And the more we learn of him, the more he’s just so far away from the stories Solan was told. And I think I was foolish to believe them in the first place.

Since – after all – Solan even had a made-up story about his mother as well.

Maybe we just didn’t want to tell him the truth. That his parents actually tortured each other more often than not. There’s no fairytale romance or relationship here. Simply a means to an end. One that won’t end well for anyone.

Meanwhile, Aldi gives Xena a title just like Lao Ma. Destroyer of Nations.

Warrior Princess.

It’s funny that each represents different sides of Xena. Two sides of the same coin – I suppose.

However, despite the lasting impression that Lao Ma and Aldi have left on Xena, Gabrielle leaves an even greater one. Xena once promised Gabrielle that if she died, she wouldn’t fall back into her old habits. Become evil again.

Xena keeps that promise.

Maybe not her mind.

Since she’s out of it with desperation to see her again.

However, when confronted with her evil past and something she did to help trap the Amazons or at least, give Aldi a foothold over them – she pauses her plan to see Gabrielle. Instead, she turns around and decides to help them cross over to Eternity once and for all.

Informing Gabrielle that she gave her so much, including a light of her own. And knowing that Gabrielle wouldn’t forgive her for selfishly choosing to see her again instead of helping people. Xena chooses to do the right thing.

Sure, she’s a little out of her mind and sorts when she does.

But she’s still keeping her promise. Being true to the version of herself that she not only wishes to be all the time, but the one Gabrielle loves and puts so much faith into.

However, because of this choice, we end the episode on a cliffhanger. AGAIN.

And without Gabrielle being resurrected, because no matter how much my girlfriend attempts to convince me that Gabrielle is actually dead forever – I do not believe her. Nope.

So hopefully, Gabrielle will make a grand return next episode! Please. I’m dying over here.

Although, to be fair, her presence is definitely felt throughout the episode. And not just because we hear her whispering. Which I’m pretty sure is just part of Xena losing it. Everything Xena does is tinged with the loss and desperation to see Gabrielle again. Getting worse and worse like she’s going through withdrawals.

It’s clear how much Gabrielle’s constant presence in Xena’s life gives her an anchor point. Something good and wonderful to look forward to. And without it, well, she snaps a bit. Or a lot.

Well, onto the next!

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