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Is it wrong that I didn’t entirely love this episode?

Now, before you start throwing rocks or yelling at me – I’ll explain.

I loved the going on a date idea. I was all for it last week when we saw Maya ask Carina on a date. I loved the idea of them slowly easing back into their marriage.

What I do not want is to start over.

I don’t want to pretend that everything that came before didn’t happen or was somehow wrong. Because not everything that happened in their relationship was bad. I think it’s bad to ignore the heaps of history between them.

Or pretend it doesn’t exist.

Because it does.

I don’t want to start over. I want them to pick up the pieces and rebuild things better and stronger than what they were before, because what they were – broke.

Not to mention the poor camera angles for the kiss. Seriously? Who choose those camera angles?

I’d like a word.

It’s the first kiss we’ve seen in months between them and we don’t even really get to see it.

Grrr.

Okay, okay.

I’m good.

Now, I’ve seen some people commenting it’s weird that Maya scheduled a date for while she was working, but I think she just invited Carina to celebrate Theo.

Remember, there was supposed to be a dinner to honor him. It got interrupted.

But Carina clearly brought dessert for everyone. Maya seemed confused when Carina first mentioned the date and I don’t think it’s something she’s likely to forget right now. I took it as Carina was joining the people she and Maya consider family to celebrate one of them.

I think Carina turned it into a date.

Just a thought.

Because no one seemed surprised Carina was joining them at the station. I just think she was invited to join her family for an occasion and took it as an opportunity to see Maya.

I know someone people said it was a plot device and maybe it was. But I want to prefer to think about it as Maya trying to put things back. It’s also nice to see Carina being involved with the fire family.

Seeing Maya having fun with all of them.

Her friends being dorks along with her when she introduced Carina.

I think they went too far with the ‘first date’ joke. I don’t want to ignore their past. I love their past. And Carina and Maya do too. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be fighting for each other.

Onto other matters.

Um, the whole Pam thing was weird.

I kept wondering what her purpose to Maya and Carina’s relationship was.

Speculations ranged from Jealous Maya to her dying and Maya and Carina ending up with her baby.

In this particular episode, I kept thinking that she was going to say that her and Carina went out, but Carina didn’t stop talking about her wife the entire night. So, they became friends.

At least, then Pam would have had a purpose. Something.

But then, I thought, she did have a purpose.

She’s just a person.

She’s nothing.

Not to Maya or Carina.

She’s not even a blip on the radar because neither Maya nor Carina want anyone else. They love each other like crazy and no one is going to come between them. Not while they’re separated. Not while they’re mad.

Never.

Pam meant nothing to Carina.

She went out with a friend.

Same way she sees Amelia.

Amelia had a crush. Carina delivered her baby. Nothing more.

She wants Maya. Only Maya.

To me, I think it illustrates that there’s no one else for either of them.

Yes, Carina was lonely. But I think she realized the only person she wants to chase that feeling away is Maya.

She wants her wife. She wants to work it out. She doesn’t want to move on. To find someone else. She wants the woman who promised to love her forever.

And I hate to say it, but I liked it.

That Pam was so inconsequential she didn’t require anything beyond Carina explaining she’s a friend. She wanted a friend and that’s it.

Maya moved on.

She didn’t dwell on it. She trusted that Carina was telling her the truth. That when Carina said she wanted to work it out, to go slowly, and rebuild their relationship – she meant it.

Then – she told the truth.

She has everything she needs to take down Ross and get what she wants.

In a way, I wonder what Maya was planning before she talked to Carina. Last time, she made a rash decision that started her downward spiral. This time, she tells Carina first – before she makes a choice on what to do with the pictures.

It shows growth.

She may have considered using them. I don’t know. I don’t care.

What matters is that she didn’t.

I’m proud of her.

And I have to congratulate Stefania for a stellar performance. Her face as Maya confessed the worst parts of herself and her walls slamming into place. She was bracing for Maya’s backslide. Instead, you could see and feel the relief when Maya chooses to do the right thing.

She let out a breath.

She can see Maya working to be better.

Yes, she stumbled a little. But she caught herself.

This conversation was exactly why I don’t want to ignore the past or try to start over. They know each other already. They have lots of baggage.

Maya could see Carina waiting for her to make a bad choice.

At the start of their relationship, Carina’s reaction would have differed so much.

And I want to illustrate another piece of growth from Maya. She didn’t get mad at Carina for assuming the worst. She accepted that she has broken her wife’s trust in her. She has to earn it back.

Which is what she was doing.

She told her the truth. Allowing them to come full circle on this mess and finally start to heal.

Whew.

Okay, the next episode boasts that Maya and Carina work to get their relationship on the right track. Can we see a real date please? A honest conversation about what happened between them? Can Maya finally apologize for everything she did? Including bringing up Andrew? Can Carina talk about her fears to Maya?

Also – can we have this conversation outside the damn station? Please!

Now that, that’s off my chest – other highlights!

Maya declaring that Ben is not the only who’s worried. I love that Carina immediately softened her tone and her eyes as she explained why Ben’s idea was terrible.

On that subject – would a black man ever want more people with guns around? Did we learn nothing from season four?

Maya’s soft eyes as she and Carina connected after the baby was born. It reminded of the scene in season four, when the pregnant woman gives birth in the barn. It was so sweet.

I love how Maya swoons over Carina doing her job. Every. Time.

She’s so in awe of Carina. I want her to tell her that more often.

Which brings me to my next point, when Maya tells Carina she was amazing. I loved Carina turning to mush over Maya’s words. We so need more of that on our screens.

These two actresses are magic.

It’s a crime they’ve been separated most of this season.

Jealous Maya.

Who doesn’t love watching them get a little possessive over each other?

I loved that Maya was trying not to freak out too much after learning that information, but was desperately trying to get answers as well.

And Carina didn’t get overly annoyed over the jealousy. She understood Maya was having feelings and that she needed to soothe her, not get mad at her. It was a very adult and mature thing to do.

Did anyone else have a moment when Maya said she knew all of Carina’s friends?

I was like, friends? She has friends?

Not that we’ve seen. Show me these friends!

Carina’s amused expression when Maya purposely screwed up her name. I would have tossed in a line from Carina that it’s the same as her last name – you know – DeLuca-Bishop.

But that’s just me.

There were so many little details that I love from the actresses. Please, let them be happy, and share all their scenes together.

Just give me a solid 43 minutes of them and I’ll be happy. Thank you.

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