Amac Productions

1. Mud

Why is there so much mud?

I played softball in the spring every year growing up and one day we were playing. The ground was so muddy at my high school field, we almost lost our shoes!

No, I’m not exaggerating for effect.

Our shoes almost came off.

The ground thaws in the spring and everything and everywhere is mud. Just mud everything. I hate it.

2. Never As Warm

I feel like every year the spring is colder and colder.

Probably a scientific reason due to climate change. However, getting dressed every day is an exercise in frustration.

It says 60, but there’s no sun, and the wind so it’s more like 40. And some it’s more depressing than 40 in the winter time when that’s a warm day.

3. Allergies

Ugh. Anyone else get sick in the spring and fall?

Every year without fail, I’m outside because I like to be outside, and I get sick. Nose runs. Coughing. Sore throat.

Wearing masks everywhere is the only thing in my whole life that helped. I didn’t realize I could be happy about a pandemic until my mask helped with allergies.

There’s nothing worse than not being able to do anything because you can no longer breathe.

4. Plant Life

Yes, I enjoy plants.

I have nothing against them.

But they have something against me. Every year my car ends up covered in these green things falling from the trees. They end up everywhere. Even inside my car!

Turn on the wiper and they just glare at me.

It’s one of those little irritations. Like, damn. I forgot to get up earlier to clean my car off like it snowed or something. Except the snow is green, doesn’t melt, and can make me sick so I really don’t want to deal with it.

5. Weather

It could snow, rain, and have a sunny day all in one day. All in one hour.

Good luck making plans or going outside.

You’ll need to bring every layer you can think of, just in case.

6. Work

Have you ever worked retail?

So, let’s say you finally get a nice day in the spring. Sun is shining, it’s a warmer day. And you’re stuck inside with the general public going in and out.

They’ll stop to tell you how gorgeous and nice it is out. So sunny and warm, a perfect day to just be outside enjoying the day.

Then they’ll top it off by asking what you’re doing inside.

Like working your scheduled shift is a choice. Or that your boss will let you leave just because it’s nice out.

Then they whole conversation usually ends with them hoping you get out to enjoy the nice day at some point.

Nope, by the time I get out, I will need a parka. Thank you for reminding for the millionth time today I don’t get to enjoy it.

7. Nights

Why is it always so cold?

The minute the sun is tucked away, it’s time to freeze.

I thought all the mud meant it was warming up. Right?

The ground should be holding some of this heat by now right? No, it’s just mud. Not even useful mud so you can still be outside at 7 when the sun has gone down.

Nope, you better add layers or you’ll feel like you went outside naked in the middle of winter.

8. Daylight Savings

Personally, I don’t care about losing an hour or whatever.

I just plan my life accordingly. If I work on Sunday, I change the clocks early and roll with that time so I get the right amount of sleep.

No work? I just live my life.

I wake up and remember, damn I gotta change the clocks.

What I can’t stand, is listening to everyone complain.

Daylight savings isn’t a surprise! We didn’t run into your house and randomly change the clocks on a Tuesday without warning! It happens every year! In spring and fall, we do this thing.

But I go to work and it’s all people complain about.

I go out and people complain.

My goodness, how did you not sleep enough? I just pretend it’s already 10 when it’s nine on Saturday if I have to work. And if I’m not working I just sleep on Sunday. My body literally never knows what happened.

How are you not planning for this? And if you didn’t plan, don’t bother me with your complaints.

I’m not your HR.

9. Yard Work

All those things that were hidden under snow or too cold to do?

Well, they’re coming back to haunt me in the spring.

No, I can’t clean the backyard, it’s under three feet of snow, and freezing out. Nope. Have to do that in spring.

Welp, spring is here and it’s time to clean the backyard. All the trash that blew into your yard, got to check on the lawnmower. Make sure that damn thing still works.

Get gas for it.

Check the trimmer for the bushes.

Ugh. Every year I’m reminded that yards require maintenance if you want to use them throughout the summer. While this is also a summer issue, spring is when the reminder kicks in. Making it double trouble.

10. Wildlife

I live in a place where I experience all four seasons.

Meaning birds leave for the winter. Wildlife is hibernating for the winter.

But in spring.

Oh, in spring. They’re all back.

And some a truly unpleasant to live with.

I’m sure you’re expecting me to say something about birds crapping on my car. But I’ve dealt with that my whole life and I keep my car fairly clean all summer because I like washing it. (Yes, I know that’s weird.)

Nope, in the spring.

When the trees are growing their leaves, they get these things on them. They look like tiny green worms.

Someone I think said they were silkworms.

I don’t care. I don’t like them.

They creep me out so much.

When I was kid they got all over my swing set and when I played on it. They got all over me. And they felt weird and strange and creepy.

As a kid I was terrified of bugs. This amplified my fear so much. I can deal with all sorts of bugs now.

But not these.

They get everywhere and on me and crawl. And I’m reminded of being a little kid, screaming for her mom when I just wanted to play outside on a nice day.

Yuck.

Well, those are my ten reasons for why spring sucks. But don’t worry, I’ll do ten for why it’s awesome too!

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And tune in for the corresponding list of why Springs doesn’t suck, next Thursday!